Posted by Cathy Taggart Over the years I've become increasingly convinced that the Church doesn't really take marriage seriously as a Christian vocation. In practice, I believe we have the same situation in the Church as in secular society: your family life is essentially a private affair, and - as long as there's nothing really terrible going on - what happens in the family doesn't matter all that much to the wider community. I'm afraid that allowing priests to marry would (in practice)further reinforce the assumption that your family is part of your private life, very much secondary to your "real" work. I find all this very hard to explain as it's something I've learnt purely from my personal experience. For the past twenty years or so, I've been trying to live out my family life as my Christian vocation - and I'm still struggling with the idea of what that even means! Any (modern) writings I've come across seem either too theoretical and "airy fairy", or, if they're based on experience, they usually strike me as being too superficial: they often make it seem that Christian family life is essentially indistinguishable from a good family life in the secular sense, but with God "tacked on"! And let's face it, the New Testament, and particularly the Gospels, give the impression that family life is more likely to be an obstacle to discipleship than a help! Also, there's little or no public discussion in the Church about just what it means to live your marriage/family life as a vocation, and there's also very little in the way of faith-oriented help and support for families, particularly of a kind that is family-friendly, on-going and easily accessible (at least, this seems true for Adelaide, where I live). Well, I hope the above can be a contribution to the on-going discussion. I also want to emphasise that this is for me as much a deeply personal, even painful, issue as it must be for priests who either want to marry or have already done so. --Previous Message--
on February 16, 2005, 11:53 am, in reply to "Re: Priests, Do You REALLY Want to Marry?! "
Thank you Kevin for your thoughtful and detailed reply. I certainly agree that we (the Church)need to have a good conversation about this issue, but I believe it needs to be a "two-sided" discussion, i.e., not just focussing on priests marrying, but also on what all this implies about our understanding of marriage/family as a vocation.
: Thanks for your thoughts and musings Cathy. I
: think when you look at the history of
: celibacy and the priesthood, the two have
: not always gone together, and the reasons
: they were brought together were somewhat
: noble and spiritual and somewhat political
: and pragmatic, and somewhat less than noble
: in some instances.
:
: Given the shortage of clergy, and given that
: there are many men who were once active
: priests who are now married, and who would
: still be available for ministry should the
: opportunity be there, I think it is natural
: that these questions arise.
:
: No one is idealising marriage and the
: humdrum and mundane elements involved in
: that vocation. They are present in
: everyone's journey.
:
: My guess is that the beautiful charism of
: celibacy, which has been with the Church
: since the very early times when the monastic
: life developed, would come into its own if
: it were to be an optional condition for
: priesthood. By definition of course, it
: will always be essential to religious life.
:
: I have seen enough of people struggling with
: loneliness, power issues, addicition, sexual
: issues, to know that it would be good if we
: had a good conversation about the whole
: thing. Many people have the gift of
: priesthood I think, without necessarily
: having the gift of celibacy as well. I
: think the Chruch would be much enriched if
: an option were introduced.
:
: --Previous Message--
: A recent statement by the Council of Priests
: has once again put the issue of priestly
: celibacy on the agenda. My problem with
: this issue is that in our society, and even
: more so in the Church, we tend to take a
: rather idealized view of marriage and the
: family, so it's hard to have a realistic
: discussion. I myself am happily married and
: have a good family life, but I frequently
: feel totally "bogged down" in the
: mundane practicalities of life: housework,
: bills, shopping, money worries, attending to
: everyone's needs, etc., etc. Of course,
: everyone has to deal with the everyday
: necessities of life, but when you have
: family responsibilities the demands are much
: bigger and can seem all-consuming. It can
: be very difficult to have the time,
: opportunity or even the inclination to pray,
: meditate, etc., let alone do the things that
: really nourish your spiritual life like
: going on retreat!
:
: In short, why are so many people concerned
: that priests may want to marry, but no-one
: seems concerned that some married people may
: yearn for a more spiritual life? (Or I am
: the only one?)
:
: On a more personal note, Kevin, I hope you
: won't mind me asking, but I can't help
: wondering whether you yourself find celibacy
: a problem. You seem to be a happy,
: "together" sort of person,
: certainly not some-one who feels that a
: vital part of his life is unfulfilled! I
: very much hope that even if we do away with
: compulsory celibacy for (diocesan) priests,
: we will still keep our Religious Orders. For
: me, the symbolisom of the religious life
: really works, especially since I feel
: "bogged down" in mundanities as
: describe above: i.e., it is a powerful and
: nurturing symbol for me that some people
: give up the opportunity for a
: "normal" life for the sake of the
: Kingdom, and live lives which are OVERTLY
: much more in keeping with the Gospels than
: most of us can mamage!
:
: However, I would hate to think that I am
: asking this gift of people if it is an
: unreasonable demand!
:
: CATHY
:
:
:
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