[ Post a Response | SBC's Ladies of Laughter ]
Posted by S.R. God Bless,
on 5/4/2007, 9:21 pm, in reply to "Oh Susan...My heart just aches for you all..."
64.12.116.140
I don't even know HOW to feel about this but... I have tried to keep talking to God.
I do hope they will move this up BUT... on another hand I am also hoping another Dr will somehow change heart and call and say they will take Rachel after all..... I just DO NOT trust a Dr that will only take you if you come in like 10 days before your appt to fill out the papers "Just because too many ppl cancel too often" *It is not the going in part that bothers me... I would have gone in TODAY if they had wanted me to... I just have to wonder IF this Dr's heart is in the BLANKITY-BLANK MONEY (sorry... that IS how I feel) OR is this one's heart in HELPING PPL???? It seems to me like maybe the 1st choice? (God forgive me if I am judging.)
I sooooooo wish there were more dr's like the one who did my hysterectomy... Bless his heart... If ya'll remember... he even came in and PRAYED WITH ME (HE initiated this) just before they rolled me into surgery!
Then, also, to have to wait so long... when our Dr... who is an Oncologist / Hematologist... senses urgency in doing this "ASAP"
Then I have these feelings of... "OMGosh... she is only 20 and look at all she has been thru already!"
At least they will FINALLY be starting her infusions... but, even THAT is still a week away and she just has no strength now due to all the bleeding.
I didn't mean to bring anyone down... I just can't stand seeing her like this... and I don't know what to do!!!! I have some Ensure for her (she uses this from time to time anyway due to her Nissen Surgery and digestion problems) but, she don't usually stay awake long enough to even finish a one drink serving.
I just know SOMETHING has to give here... I am not thrilled about another surgery, I am not thrilled about the long wait... I am angry & scared that the dr that they FINALLY found for her
gives me the creepy feeling of NOT having the PATIENTS in the best interest (maybe I am parinoid?)
I am really REALLY ticked that I can't help her... (I have to bite my tongue here or it won't be pretty, talking how I feel about myself)...
and then to top all of this off... the woman I babysit for... almost for free... (*she has an Autistic 2 yr old boy, then also a 14 yr old that I "supervise" when she is home from school) anywhooooooo... she called me today (We have been having some "issues" as you may recall) and asked me if I could come "RIGHT NOW" and watch Daniel for an hr so she could go speak to her daughters teacher?? (*Last time she asked me to sit for a "couple hours" while she went on a date... it was 18 HOURS total)...
Anywhooooo... I woke Rachel up and asked her if she will be "ok" for an hour or 2... at most... and I went... *reminding the woman that I NEED to be HOME with Rachel. Then when Kim came back... (she WAS gone only about an Hour... but, she said she needed to do some shopping too but I "Rushed her" so she can't)... She even had the nerve to ask me if I am "gonna allow Rachel's Problem to be a problem for me babysitting?"
GOD must have help me back from clobbering the woman!!! "Rachel's Problem" ISSSSSSSSSSSS MY "PROBLEM"!!
As much as I have gone out of my way to help her... I helped her get her kids back from foster care... I allow her to pay me like 25c - 50c an hour to babysit... Sheese, I even clean her house (except for the 14yr olds room... I will NOT touch that) and now all she is STILL worried about is how this will affect HER and HER FAMILY!!!!????
Do I need to tell you that there will be NO MORE of me doing for her? (God forgive me if I am wrong)
Ok... I have blabbed long enough... and I am sorry!!!
Please, just help me pray that whatever is gonna happen to get Rachel some HELP... will happen SOON!!! Pray for Kim and her family that they will get the help they need for child-care... I just KNOW it WON'T BE ME anymore!!! I was ready to quit when school was out anyway... But, this uncaring attitude of hers just pushed things up!
Am I wrong???? :'(
~S~
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