H.O.P.E. Message Board: Worried about loved one

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Worried about loved one

Posted by Worried on 3/10/2004, 1:20 pm

I believe that my fiance has a problem with anxiety. He has a hard time ever being happy no matter how many times he admits to me and to himself that there is nothing wrong. He can't relax. So many issues come up that he cannot deal with (car, family, tests, papers, money, etc.). Most of the time we talk it out and I reassure him that things are okay and he can get through it and it works, but our talks went from once a week to every single daysometimes twice a day. He gets angry about everything (road rage, so called "stupid" people on the news, world issues) so the point that it works himself up into anxiety about things that don't have anything to do with him. Up until about 3 weeks ago he's been using alcohol (never liquor, only beer) to cope with this. Which is wrong and as much as he knows it he can't help this temptation. This time I want to be able to make him see that it isn't the way. Alcoholism does run in his family. He has had these kinds of symptoms since he was a child (anxiety that led to vomiting, etc.).
He is a very good and loving man. He feels horrible for "putting me through" this every day. I have been nothing but patient and always will be. He is a honor student at a major university, well-liked, kind and every other good thing you could say about someone, only he has this anxiety inside him that only I know how much it kills him. He calls it his demon.
I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him to the bad habit of drinking a 12 pack every night to relax. He never gets violent or mean, but he and I both know it is not the way to deal with it. Especially after we can see the secret alcoholism of his mother and how it effected her life.
I really and truly don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. We are young and fairly poor and not sure if we can afford to seek out professional help. We also live in a small-town kind of area that doesn't really have support groups and what-not readily available (I've checked). Besides that, the stigma that comes along with seeking help is almost too much for him to bear right now as well.
I feel very darned if I do and darned if I don't right now.
I am sorry this is so long. Any suggestions would be so greatly appreciated.

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Worried about loved one - Worried 3/10/2004, 1:20 pm
- Re: Worried about loved one - carole 3/15/2004, 10:39 pm
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--Previous Message-- : I believe that my fiance has a problem with : anxiety. He has a hard time ever being : happy no matter how many times he admits to : me and to himself that there is nothing : wrong. He can't relax. So many issues come : up that he cannot deal with (car, family, : tests, papers, money, etc.). Most of the : time we talk it out and I reassure him that : things are okay and he can get through it : and it works, but our talks went from once a : week to every single daysometimes twice a : day. He gets angry about everything (road : rage, so called "stupid" people on : the news, world issues) so the point that it : works himself up into anxiety about things : that don't have anything to do with him. : Up until about 3 weeks ago he's been using : alcohol (never liquor, only beer) to cope : with this. Which is wrong and as much as he : knows it he can't help this temptation. This : time I want to be able to make him see that : it isn't the way. Alcoholism does run in : his family. He has had these kinds of : symptoms since he was a child (anxiety that : led to vomiting, etc.). : : He is a very good and loving man. He feels : horrible for "putting me through" : this every day. I have been nothing but : patient and always will be. He is a honor : student at a major university, well-liked, : kind and every other good thing you could : say about someone, only he has this anxiety : inside him that only I know how much it : kills him. He calls it his demon. : : I really don't know what to do. I don't want : to lose him to the bad habit of drinking a : 12 pack every night to relax. He never gets : violent or mean, but he and I both know it : is not the way to deal with it. Especially : after we can see the secret alcoholism of : his mother and how it effected her life. : : I really and truly don't know what to do. I : don't know who to talk to. We are young and : fairly poor and not sure if we can afford to : seek out professional help. We also live in : a small-town kind of area that doesn't : really have support groups and what-not : readily available (I've checked). Besides : that, the stigma that comes along with : seeking help is almost too much for him to : bear right now as well. : : I feel very darned if I do and darned if I : don't right now. : I am sorry this is so long. Any suggestions : would be so greatly appreciated. :

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