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Posted by Tim on 4/18/2005, 11:37 pm, in reply to "boyfriend" --Previous Message--
: What should I do about my boyfriend? how can I
: make him understand what I am going through?
:
I know this is like three months later than your posted message, but if you still check this I just wanted you to know that it is the same for guys with anxiety disorders. I want you to know that no matter what it's going to be hard for anyone to understand what you go through. I have lost a couple of great girls because of this damn disorder. It always seems like they want to understand but eventually it takes its toll on the relationship. I always feel very guilty when I can't do something that they want to do because of my disorder and then get really upset with myself for not being able to control this especially when you really care about someone and want to do everything to make them happy. So I kind of have a sense of what you have to go through. Although I'm not in a relationship now I have tried to make myself realize that everything can't be perfect and you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of yourself. I'm quite sure he;s not perfect and you let those things slide so he should at least be understanding. When that happens(him trying to understand what you're going through) it makes it easier for you because it takes alot of pressure off of you and you will feel more comfortable and won';t worry about them so much. I'm not saying they will go away completely, but they do seem to happen less and less frequently. You just have to explain to him that the more patience he has with you the easier it will be for you and then they won't occur so often. Like I've said I've lost two great relationships because I was too stubborn and embarrassed to explain what I was going through and it just made me drift further and further from them. And I sit here all the time thinking about what I could of and should of done. We are who we are and if you're not around people who don't have the patience to try and understand what you are going through then you're just going to keep beating yourself up about it. This is a funny disorder isn't it? I have no idea who you are but I can sit here and write you about this stuff but didn't have the courage to try and explain it to the people i've cared most about in my life because I was too embarrassed!!! Good luck, I hope everything gets better for you. good luck.
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