H.O.P.E. Message Board: Mindfulness Courses?

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Mindfulness Courses?

Posted by Anna on 6/12/2005, 1:46 am

I have suffered from panic attacks for about 20 years, and it was at it's worst about 7 years ago. It got so bad I couldn't leave the house except when I absolutely had to, and I could only drive if my cell phone was looped over my wrist (for all the good it would have done me!) Anyway, I ended up a the doctor several times and the therapist. The therapist told me about a course being offered through the hospital and honestly, I think it saved my life. I am not one for meditation and that kind of thing, but this class was fantastic. It was called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. It was a long class (10 wks I think) and I hated going at first, but it really made a difference. I was to the point of considering going on medication, but I was very nervous about meds and wanted to try everything else first. I told myself I'd try the class and then if that didn't work, I'd try the meds. I took the class 7 yrs ago and have never gone on medication. I still have panic attacks, but rarely full-blown and maybe only a couple of times a year now. I am in no way affiliated with the organization that teaches the class. In fact, I don't even know who administers the class...I found out about it through the hospital. The leader was named Bob Stahl if I remember correctly.
There were about 15 or 20 of us in the course and like I said I was very negative about it at first. But, as I continued to go, I really noticed that it was helping. I walked in to the first class in the middle of a panic attack. I really thought I was going to die. I kept telling myself.."What if the doctors are wrong and I really do have something wrong with me?" I never did fully participate in the meditation or "homework", but I began to understand the process. I learned everything I could about panic attacks. I really "got it" when the instructor said that panic is a "wave" and you can't make it go away, but rather than letting it "swallow you up" you can learn to "ride it out." That's what I do now. I feel the panic coming....I know the warning signs for me. I also know situations that tend to increase my panic attacks and I try to avoid them (lack of sleep, too much caffeine.) When I do feel it coming on I have my usual tricks (slow breathing in for 5 counts; out for 10 to calm myself, counting or doing mental math if it happens in public, and repeating over and over that I know it's just a panic attack and it will pass. Basically reminding myself to not be afraid. If I do these things, it rarely goes full-blown. I feel edgy and nervous, but can usually calm down and get to sleep (most often mine hit in bed as I'm trying to get to sleep.) If it does go full-blown, I try to get through it by reminding myself of what's going on in my body. I'm a scientist and I studied up on the process so that I can really convince myself that this is not something I can control and it's not something that will kill me. It's almost funny in a way when it happens because I'm sitting there (generally on the bathroom floor if I'm home) thinking things like "Okay, here comes the heart palpitations and nausea. Alright, sweaty palms, your turn...cue the shortness of breath and start the room spinning." It's like a really bad play or something and I'm the unfortunate stage director!
Anyway, the course was too involved to even begin to explain completely, but it was great and I wanted to share the name at least. Just wanted to mention that there are a lot of options if you don't want to use meds right now. I know some day I may have to go on them myself, but for now this is doing the trick. And, I even tried Yoga a while back! Something I would have NEVER done and all I can say is WOW! I sleep really well on Thurs nights after class. Wish I could do it every day.
All the best to all of you. It is so frightening. I never had these kinds of groups when I was going through the worst of it. I remember hearing other people describe their symptoms and thinking Thank G-d! Maybe I'm not crazy afterall!
Anna

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