Posted by stunner Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
on 5/1/2002, 7:45 pm
Warnings - New Liquor Labels
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:
what the hell happened to your bra.
whispering when you are not.
retard.
friends over and over again that you love them.
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your ass kicked.
in the morning and see something really scary.
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most
people.
you are invisible.
people are laughing WITH you.
the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
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