Posted by Stunner@aol.com on 12/5/2002, 8:00 am The holiday party season is rife with opportunities to scorewhether youre playing it naughty or nice. Heres how to work the room and have a hot gal sliding down your chimney at nights end. Maxim, December 2002 By Ellen Benson Ahh, December: Tis the season for holiday celebrationsthe chance to let loose, yak on the boss shoes, and hit on girls who are moved by the season (and spiked eggnog) to spread goodwill toward men. But how do you ensure that youll exit each soiree with a girl in your sleigh
or at least with a stocking full of legit phone numbers? By being yourselfsort of. Once you know how to play your natural wild card (humor, charm, chill factor), youll up your odds. So read on for your best shot at taking home a Christmas bonus. Player: The Funny Guy How to play your hand: Make an impression by demonstrating your wit right off the bat. When you notice a girls drink is almost empty, go get two drinks, come back looking horrified, and say, Yikes, theres my A.A. counselorhold one of these for a minute, will ya? Another good trick: Tease her in a way thats flattering. If shes sipping a cosmopolitan, ask, Why do hot girls always drink pink drinks? Did you all have a meeting and make a rule? Shell giggle at your jokes while being charmed by your compliments. Translation: Shell be smiling while nudging you toward the mistletoe. But dont get trumped: Funny Guys pitfall is self-deprecating humor. Make an occasional crack at your own expense and youll appear more confident. But nonstop riffing on the real-life weaknesses of your job, your looks, and your social skills will have her laughing with pity
and pity is like an ice-cold shower on the flames of sexual attraction. Player: The Laid-Back Guy How to play your hand: Youre not the type who should go for obvious pickup lines or awkward conversation starters (Hey, how bout that Middle East, huh?), so just ask her name and make a comment about the party or a mutual acquaintance. Casually pinpointing a common interest opens up the door for you two to hang out again. While the common route is to vaguely ask if you can call her sometime, a girl will be more excited to give you her digits if you offer her a specific good time. We know Lets go see that new play next Thursday at eight is never going to leave your mouth, so instead hook her with something simple but specific, like drinks this week at an offbeat bar. But dont get trumped: Your easygoing vibe puts you in danger of getting stuck on her just a friend list. If you dont set off a few sparks with a wink or a light hand on her forearm, she might try to set you up with her shy friendthe one wearing a snowman sweater she knit herself. Player: The Romantic Guy How to play your hand: Get in the door with a complimentbut make it an original, noncheesy one. If a girl has pretty eyes, shes heard it, oh, 10,000 times before, so focus on another asset (not her rack). Try something like, I finally tracked down that great laugh. (Only works if she doesnt sound like a hyena in heat.) Ask questions, light her cigarette, shield her from that spilled plate of crab saladthen step aside to give her a chance to wonder if youll be back. Return in 30 minutes for a second dose of charm or she might think you lost interest. If shes glad to see you again, you just might wind up getting a room at the Holiday Inn & Out. But dont get trumped: Dont come on too strong. Make the conversation too heavy (Id love to meet your family) or spew contrived lines (You look like a beautiful painting) and shell think youre either playing her or a stalker-in-the-making. Player: The Hot Guy How to play your hand: Itll catch her off guard if you march right up and introduce yourself. Let her bust you glancing at her from across the room so shell anticipate your approach. Once you engage her, ask questions about her and respond with comments that show you relate. As an extra touch, accidentally spill a bit of your drink on your shirtshell be impressed that despite your looks, youre not fussy about your appearance. Then prepare for an unsilent night. But dont get trumped: We gals go on playa alert around a jaw-dropper, so if we suspect were just another conquest, you may get shot down. We also assume that hot guys are superficial, so before shes over your dimples and chiseled features, youll need to develop an actual personality. Player: The Guys Guy How to play your hand: Give her the eye as you school your buddies at darts or pool. Then tell your pal with a girlfriend that its time to play partners, and ask her to join you. When she says she doesnt know how to play, offer to show herwe all get a bit weak-kneed when a strong and confident guy wants to teach us something. Revealing youre not as macho as you seemsay, by asking her opinion on what would make a good gift for a bossseals the deal. By the end of the party, you just might get into her Christmas stockings. But dont get trumped: Do not, repeat, do not treat her like one of the guys. Telling that great bestiality joke or suggesting a shot from the barmaids cleavage will convince her youre a brute whos got no clue how to treat a girl. Which means Santa wont be the only one not stopping by your place this holiday season.
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Your Party Playbook
Strong suit: At parties most guys are trying so hard to act smooth that the funny guy is a refreshing change. In fact, we girls almost always list a sense of humor as one of the traits were looking for.
Strong suit: Youre naturally at ease with women, so you dont make us feel pressured. In other words, you have a way of sneaking in under our radarwere already picking our underwear up off your floor before weve even decided if youre just a platonic pal.
Strong suit: We love a romantic; you can deliver compliments sincerely enough to butter us up without setting off our bullshit detectors, and we assume youre the one materialeven if youre just the one for tonight.
Strong suit: Isnt it obvious? Only .001 percent of guys fall into this category, but for those who do
Strong suit: Believe it or not, your love of sports, beer, and hanging out with the boys is attractive to us. It broadcasts that you need a girl to take care of you, which is hard for us to resist.
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