Posted by Stunner
on 2/5/2003, 1:06 pm
198.81.21.187
FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
> >
> >
> >
> > >How many men does it take to open a beer?
> >
> > >None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> >
> > >Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
> >
> > >probably never be able to support you.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> >
> > >It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> >
> > >closer to the kitchen sink.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> >
> > >When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >How do you fix a woman's watch?
> >
> > >You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Why do men break wind more than women?
> >
> > >Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
> >
> > >pressure.
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
> >
> > >the front door, who do you let in first?
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> > >The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> >
> > >A woman who won't do what she's told.
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> > >--------------------------------------
> >
> > >I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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> > >
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> > >----------------------------------------
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> > >I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
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> > >---------------------------------------
> >
> > >Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
> >
> > >drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
> >
> > >Suffering.
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> >
> > >I said, "Dust!"
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
> >
> > >created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither
> >
> > >God nor Man has rested.
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> > >------------------------------------------
> >
> > >Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
> >
> > >and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
> >
> > >She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
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> > >a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> >
> > >Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> >
> > >Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
> >
> > >said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
> >
> > >forget it once.
> >
> > >----------------------------------------
> >
> > >Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
> >
> > >street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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