Posted by NapaBasterd4u Pleasanton Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold San Ramon Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is Richmond Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes Rancho Cordova/Gold River Barbie: This yuppie Barbie Stockton Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Tahoe Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Berkeley Barbie: This Barbie actually comes in two Bakersfield Barbie: This tobacco chewing, Texas Transplant Barbie: This b###h of a Barbie comes They are working on developing an "Oakland Barbie", Piedmont Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in
Link: http://Sublimedirectory.com
on 11/13/2003, 11:28 am
130.86.62.31
Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release of
Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Northern
California Market:
at the Stoneridge Mall. She comes with an assortment
of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a cookie
cutter house. Options include tummy tuck,face lift and
a workaholic Ken.
available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan,
gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or
secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider
Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and
a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.
comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up
Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.
Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt,
big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD
set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's
ass when she's drunk. A pickup is available with
Confederate flag bumper stickers.
Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear a
leopard print ski outfit without looking passe, even
if you are actually skiing.
variations. One has long gray hair and archless feet,
sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt . The
other version has frizzy hair, a dingy white tanktop,
low cut jeans and scratch-n-sniff armpits.
brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you
can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no
pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while
you chase your beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing
boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with
lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at
all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans
with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the
back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through
shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted
and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with
Bon Jovi, rusty old Ford pick up.
with a Ford SUV (Texas plates), a knife to stab other
Barbies in the back, and tons of makeup. Carnivore Ken
sold separately.
but she keeps getting shot.
Walnut Creek and Carmel. She drives her Land Rover
(sold separately) to the Oakland Public Library. She
has an MBA from Stanford but has never worked outside
the home. Her child stroller is bigger than your house
and her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind
CEO Ken's golf trophies. She knows enough Spanish to
talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to the cook; and
Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean, to talk with the
gardener, house painter, and housekeeper respectively.
She is a lifelong member of the Junior League and her
Piedmont estate on Sea View Drive is featured in
Architectural Digest. Her family owns a winery in
Napa, but she buys cases of "2-Buck Chuck" at Trader
Joe's. Hence the need for the rear-loading Land
Rover. Her dirty little secret?? She's a closet Democrat.
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