Posted by brande --Previous Message--
on 12/7/2004, 7:43 pm, in reply to "Warnings for alcohal"
68.99.8.231
: Warnings - New Liquor Labels
:
: Due to increasing product liability
: litigation, American liquor
: manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
: suggestion that the following
: warning labels be placed immediately on all
: containers:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: leave you wondering
: what the hell happened to your bra.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make
: you think you are
: whispering when you are not.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a
: major factor in dancing like a
: retard.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: cause you to tell your
: friends over and over again that you love
: them.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: cause you to think you can sing.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead
: you to believe that ex-lovers
: are really dying for you to telephone them
: at four in the morning.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make
: you think you can logically
: converse with members of the opposite sex
: without spitting.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make
: you think you
: have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in
: your getting your ass kicked.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: cause you to roll over
: in the morning and see something really
: scary.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the
: leading cause of
: inexplicable rug burns on the forehead,
: knees and lower back.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: create the illusion
: that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
: better looking than most
: people.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead
: you to believe
: you are invisible.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead
: you to think
: people are laughing WITH you.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: cause a disturbance in
: the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of
: time may seem to
: literally disappear.
:
: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
: cause pregnancy.
:
:
:
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