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Posted by racheal
on 1/6/2006, 10:24 am, in reply to "My crazy relationship"
he is testing you! he wants to see how much you'll let him get away with. this is the most dangerous time to even get involved with him. he wants to see how far you'll go to make him happy,how many of your own needs you'll abandon, for his. get out,get out now.from personal experience,if you allow this,if you give up all of you right out the gate, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. nobody likes to admit to being the rebound, but unless he's had time to be free for a while, you & your son will suffer the end results. men are complex,confused,and a little child-like (no offense to any men reading this, I appreciate these qualities.)and they will act out,because that's the only way they know how to deal.I seriously doubt he's trying to hurt you,but if he doesn't adress the emotions he's going through,you will get hurt.he can't heal from his failed marriage with you at his side,painful as it is,it's the truth. and he won't be a partner worth having,if he doesn't go through the normal process: anger,hurt,loss,etc. the same feelings you would have with the passing of a loved one, regardless of who left who, or why. I apologize for being so blunt,but I don't know any other way to tell the truth. whatever happens,slow down,allow him to feel whatever he feels,if you decide to stay in this,make sure you're up for the ride,and be in it all the way,that doesn't mean smother him, it means, whatever space he needs,emotion he has,let him (and mean it)that's the tricky part,how to let him,without compromising your own wants and needs. communicate, let him know that you understand if he needs to go through this,he'll probably deny it,but inside,he'll know it's true. people don't break up for no reason,one or the other decided to give up.right or wrong,and that is what he is dealing with,and so are you now. didn't mean to take so long with this,but this is the one area of
relationships that i'm good at.(through ALOT of trial and error)best of luck to all involved.
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