[ Post a Response | Mending Broken Hearts ]
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Posted by Michelle on 5/25/2006, 4:30 pm where do i start hmmm... my boyfriend of two years was AMAZING he was the perfect boyfriend. we were great until about ten months into our relationship i started questioning his past relations with other girls before me. it got worse and worse until everyday i was asking him questions about it. we broke up after two years. now my current boyfriend I am starting to fall extremely hard for. again, he is awesome and i would never have a reason not to trust him. i am not vocal about it this time, however i am also very jealous of his past. thinking about him having sex with other girls before me or dating other girls before me really bothers me and i cant stop thinking about it once i start. comments that he makes bother me, even though they shouldnt. ones i remember are: just any comment he makes reguarding another girl before me bothers me A LOT. things like "we didnt even talk we were pretty much sex buddies" or "i used to like her" or "i had fun when i was dating around" hearing all of that kills me and i find myself getting upset with him (not vocally) everytime he says something about that. i also hate when other people talk about it. his mother has said "he falls very fast", again making me think that he has liked every girl he ever dated a lot and that i am nothing special. shes also said (to him), "you know when you care about someone you dont let anything else get in the way". his friends too. they went on a vacation two years ago where he slept with a lot of girls. its a running joke about how he was a "bomb" on that vacation and they saw him getting head and having sex and so on. i have heard about this from a lot of his friends and i hate thinking about it so much. basically, any mention of an ex girlfriend or another girl, or him saying one is pretty kills me. i definitely think it stems from my insecurity. i am always afraid to try doing new things because i think that i will make a fool of myself. i cannot speak publicly out of fear that i will be looked down upon or judged. i always think that people think the worst of me. and i rely a lot on my looks. please any advice would be helpful. i hate hurting over things that everybody else sees as insignificant in their relationships. has anyone else EVER felt this way?
ok, everyone who reads this will probably come to the conclusion that i am crazy. but i need your help! please, any advice would be much appreciated.
ok well i am very young i am only twenty years old and have been with my boyfriend for six months now. i was in a previous relationship for two years which was ended because of my jealousy over his past.
"i treated all of my girlfriends really good"
^this makes me figure that every girl was treated just as i am, so i question what is so special about me? nothing i am like every girl hes dated.
"yeah, one of my girlfriends was almost as pretty as you. she works at hooters now."
^i cant stand thinking about his pretty girlfriend or whatever
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