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Posted by Isabelle I should have prefaced this by saying that I'm married - er, separated - almost divorced but it is taking forever. No kids. My marriage was a nightmare. I met the guy when I was 15 married at 20. He is six years older than me. Classic "canary in a cage" situation. I was not allowed to experience life because he already did. I was not allowed to grow because he fell in love with a 15 year old (sicko). I was dead inside, I was a shell. Just going through the motions, you know? So things were not well in my marriage when I met the man that I'm with now. He respected my situation and I did make the first move. We have been together ever since. He's my age - which is a bit of a step back for me. I was used to a guy a bit older - which means that he (ex) was almost at my level because boys are just a little bit slower up that intellectual climb. I love him, his youthful vigor is exhilarating! But sometimes I find myself having to guide him into a culture that I had grown accustomed to. I like fine things, what can I say? This has not been easy. I did not work before, I worked - at a family business with my parents but it was hit or miss on the pay, I couldn't rely on anything - my pay was always bottom of the priority list. So that was a baptism by fire. I practically had a mental breakdown. But things have worked out. My new guy is great with helping my out of funks and making me smile. He is selfish and rude most of the time and he doesn't consider things that I think he should. He lets little things bother him WAY too much. BUT - he does the sweetest things to make me smile. He knows how hard I work and how stressful my life is right now (have to file bankruptcy in addition to / in conjunction with filing divorce - YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!) But I really don't get too upset about it. This whole process was really an awakening for me; one year ago exactly I had an epiphany: 1. Marriage is a joke; no one is comfortable when I'm me. 2. Business is failing - how do I walk away from my dream? 3. Dad's in hospital for 2 months 4. I need to live for me Now everything goes right into perspective for me. It's like I am in on some private joke - people get obsessed with all the fluff, not the substance. Their things own them, not they their things. They do things for no apparent reason. They don't know who they are, and they don't want to. I'm rambling - but how do I build a relationship (yes, gulp, I'm thinking of that word again - marriage) with someone with the taboo means that I met them? I don't want him to think that I'm not serious - I think that I have demonstrated how serious I am! I have never cheated or hurt anyone before this; I am simply not that type of person. When he looks at me I can feel something that I have never felt before. Call it a different stage in my life, but I was so jaded, I never felt. With him, I feel - he makes me feel.
on 10/14/2006, 9:37 am
I met a guy through a cousin of mine about a year ago. He was everything I wanted: witty, charming, polite, sexy, intellectual - perfection. I fell for him almost immediately. I tried not to . . .
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