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Posted by Kristina well, i guess i'm done here. i hope i was of any help to u, i really do.
on 11/5/2006, 3:21 pm, in reply to "IF YOU CAN HELP ME WITH THIS THEN YOU DESERVE A MEDAL!!!!!!!!! (THE HUGEST SHINIEST MEDAL ON EARTH)"
hello there... hope ur alright!.. well i was just surfing the web and bumped into ur messege... well if u want an advise, i can give it to u, well actually there are many thingsi could tell u, but u know i'll be honest with u(as u urself told that u dont want any lies or plecations)... how far u take it depends on u, ur personality and will to overcome things, so i'm just gonna write what i think, and its up to u then.
Firstly, i dont know if ur aware of that or not, but i'll say it, nobody will help u except for ur own self, that means that no outside influences can help a person, only the persone him/her self can do the thing. i dont think i explained it too well, but what i wanna say is that in my opinion, eventhought u failed ur exams and in a hard position in life, u r NOT lost completely and u seem to be willing to really make things right, good for u!, and if ur strong enough u'll make it urself!
I really believe that ur feeelings for this boy will go eventually! u just have to wait, it might take even 2 years of pain, but it will go. there is a good saying u know- nothing lasts forever. well at least i think that its a good saying, it helped me to get through a lot of hard stuff. u r not selfish for holdong on to this boy, u r just in love i presume, and the first love is always crazy and hearts the most, i've had that. althought i'm not sure what this boy got 4 u, face it, it might be nothing(eventhough it may hurt). however if u believe(logicly) that he indeed may have feelings for u at the current stage, u can just come up to him, and say u fancy him(not love, dont be too open, that might fire back at u). if he appears then to have feelings for u too, then there u go, go out with him and enjoy ur time. but if he says no, then say ok, and just walk away, dont explain urself too much, u dont have to, and dont need to. thats all u've got to do with the guy directly, i think.
the burst of feelings u've got, i think u should keep to urself, and dont tell it to him. people are cruel nowadays and in their nature as well(i'm not saying he is, and not offending him, i'm just saying how it is generally and most often in life, as far as i know it, so dont get offended). if its hard for u to keep it inside, then to the dairy thing, take a fat notebook, and write there all u have in mind, whenever u feel bad or lonely or desperate or whatever. just write it all there, it will help u, i strongly believe so!, in terms of dealing with ur feelings personally.
dont tell the boy why u didnt go to school for all this time, i know u dont want to be untruthful, but its better this way, if u dont want to put ur self in an awkward position, as u say. just say that ur relative died and its been a really hard time for u since then. thats all. he doesnt need to know all the inbetween things, its ur private stuff and thats it. i really think that u shouldnt tell the boy that it was partly becouse of him that u were too depressed to go to school, he will think too much of himself then, and thats not not good at all. see man tend to become bastards if they know ur had over heels aboutthem, and may hurt u, either on purpose or out of carelessness or something.
well, i gues thats it about the guy....
about ur life and school: really really dont feel bad that u have to do this start up course or how its called. dont! u know why? because: eventhough u had so much trouble in last years, u found caurage in urself to go and do the right thing! the main thing is that u r up for it and u r doing it! u do the entry level NOT becous u r dump, just becouse u could not do it earlier, becouse u had problems. thats it. thats what u can say to people, or the bullies, whatever. u just need to keep strong, not to find urself in some shit hole in a coule of years, if u know what i mean. u really need to sort out ur life with studies and stuff, its really importaint!!!!!!!!! u r an axample to ur sister and she looks up at u, thats a lot of responsibility. u should give her a good example to follow, really. she is ur sister, and its not up to her what goes on in ur life, she may just presume that that is the way things can be done, but its really not, its just ur life and the hard period u r going through, and u realise that things should be different, at least with ur studies, and she may not understand that ( i assume she is yaunger then u, or anyway kinda looks up to u).
dont get too depressed about the loss of ur grandmother, i explain why: firstly, a person is not just the physical body, it is also the soul. if she died, as in physicly, she is not completely dead, becouse the other part of her, her soul, is with u! it is in u, in ur soul, in ur mind, in ur memories! its very importaint to realise this, becouse its true, and u should think of it this way. also she probaly would not have wanted u to miss school, be depressed, cry or anything like that. think of what she would wanted u to do, what she might have wanted u to achieve, think of what she would be proud of, and make her smile down at u, while u r doing the right thing! everyone dies someday, we cant live forever, but we dont die completely, becouse we will in the minds and memories of others!
i think importaint thing for u now, is to put ur own life on the right track, and then everything will be just fine, really, i believe so. and dont be afraid, u can u do and achieve whatever u want, and nothing in ur life will prevent u from doing so, as long as u urself really wish for it!
get on with ur life, and dont get too obsessed with this boy, life will show u with time how it will be between u 2, dont rush it, just live ur own life. dont be afraid to meet him, just act normal, he doesnt know whats going on in ur head anyway, and thats good, its ur own stuff. but i think u better go to some college where u wont see him, i think it would be better for u, easier.
good luck, keep smiling, everything will be alright!!!
Best wishes!
Regards
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