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Posted by Frustrated on 8/2/2005, 6:04 pm
Okay,.... where do I begin? There is so much I want to vent about. I had my daughter 7 months ago and I have been on Birth control pills ever since. I began having anxiety attacks and freaking out about all kinds of things and getting into fights all the time with my husband. I figured that it was post partum depression, but I found out that it may be my BCP so 2 weeks ago I stopped taking them. I can see a change already, but I still snap at hubby like once a day. We are talking more and being more affectionate now because I'm not pushing him away all them time, but I have other issues lying underneath that I guess I haven't come to terms with. After I had our daughter I found out that he was lying to me the whole time I was pregnant. He was doing drugs when he told me that he had stopped and he was gone all the time. I started to think that he was cheating on me, but it turned out to be drugs. I was devistated because I know how this can hurt a child because my dad is an alcoholic. Well, we had our ups and downs and we came through, but everytime he says something and then corrects himself, (like about what's going on at his friend's house) I get this sick feeling and I think that he is lying to me. I know what the signs are because of hind sight, but when I take a second to think about it, I feel like I am just not over the betrayl (sp?) from while I was pregnant. I know that I don't know the whole story from back then, but I told him I didn't want to know because I just wanted to move on, but now I do want to know. I want to know everything because I want to know how far he was able to go to lie to me. I can't get over it. I thought I was, but I can't trust him. He is home as soon as he gets off of work and he goes to a friend's house less than once a week. It's only every once in a while that I feel like he is hiding something from me..... Is there anyway to get past this?
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