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Posted by Lori on 8/3/2005, 11:28 am, in reply to "What should I do?" I am not sure if I can be much help, but I will try. My hubs has done the same thing in the past. I don't know what he(your hubs) is really planning or how he actually feels. I know that when my husband behaved that way, there were lots of arguments with me threatening to leave. I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to be with someone who does not want to be with you. My husband and I are getting along wonderfully now, but one thing I did last year, was I started getting mentally prepared for the worst. I started saving money(that he does not know about). I stated a savings account and started contributing more to my 401k. I also started getting more of a life and got the attitude that if he wants to be around me then I guess he will be. I do whatever I want at home. I clean or cook or watch a movie or make plans to go out without him. I started living a more independent life. He actually misses me sometimes. He has even called wondering where I am when I have not come home at the normal time(he never used to do that). He wasn’t mad, he just wanted to know when I would be home. We get along very well. When I do come home, he is ready to do nothing buy hang out with me. It may not protect my marriage forever, but at least now if he does leave me down the road, I am more prepared for it. That may not be what you want to hear Lori, but I think, getting myself more independent has made him want me more. I was depressed and always wondering why he didn’t want to be with me before. I used to miss him all the time and get mad when he wanted to like get on the puter or read or anything that was not with me. Now we are both independent people who come together to share our lives. Good luck Gardenia
Lori
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