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Posted by Dolly on 11/10/2005, 3:23 am This is what I don't understand. How can a person that was so wrong act so strong? How can he insert the blame on me? I am so confused by this and have never met anyone who shows no remorse or consideration for anyone but himself (fyi, he is like this with everyone including his own daughter). Maybe I am naive, I want to believe that people are good and not mean spirited. On top of all this, I miss him. ..which I can't seem to figure why I would miss a guy who treated me so bad? Maybe it's the idea of him. Could anyone give me some advice on just letting go of something that was so unhealthy for me? And why would I still have hope that he would change back to that person that I fell in love with at the beginning? THis has been the most confusing relationship ever. How do I let it all go? ANy suggestions or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I dated a man that was 14 years my senior for over a year. At first he was very sweet, charming, romantic, loving, ambitious, hard working, ...it appears he was everything I ever wanted. After a couple months, I started seeing this other side of him, the controlling, manipulative, boastful, demeaning, nonsupportive side. He wanted to change everything about me, complained about everything I did and never appreciated any thoughtful or considerate things I did for the relationship or him, as though it was my duty to be that way. He started calling me dump, stupid, etc and then he cheated on me with someone who was married that I actually met. He killed my self confidence and esteem, I couldn't and wasn't myself with him. I thought maybe he would change after he cheated on me, but he didn't. Instead he turned things around and made it about me. That I am not good enough for him, etc. Finally a couple of months ago, we finally broke up, but we were still hanging out. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went on a trip together..I am not sure why he invited me to go, but I went..not sure why I went. He was still the same old mean, cruel person, we fought the whole time. We agreed that once we got back that it was over and we are not going to see each other anymore, but then he kept calling and calling. I didn't take his calls. Just yesterday, I took his stuff to him. AGAIN, he couldn't just say I wish you well, good luck, take care, instead he said, "you're dumb, get out of my house and never come back". I told him to not call me anymore, that I need to get over this. He is already seeing someone else.
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