Posted by Amy on 5/20/2008, 2:52 am, in reply to "Re: Couldnt resist starting again..."
90.196.194.249
Hiya Darren
Still puffing away in the closet and not regreting starting again! A few of my friends have commented on my new boost in attitude and confidence.... its all down to starting smoking again! Im so driven and much more happy knowing that once im home and behind closed doors I can puff away to my hearts content! As I remain in the closet its very much a "me" thing and enjoyed alone...... which I am fine with, I would love to be able to smoke at my leisure but as previously said, my hubby would flip and my family would be disgusted, so im a closet only woman.
As mentioned he works 5 lates a week so I have 5 pretty much free smoking days. When he is off cravings are frequent and strong. If its the weekend I can go out shopping and sneak one in the car with the windows open or head through the park and sneak a couple. By the time Iv had lunch and done shopping the smoke smells are eliminated and its safe to return.
If we go out for drinks its very difficult to think about anything other than having a quick puff, I get irritable and snappy, but if we go dancing or to clubs my mind is occupied enough until my next smoke break.
A couple of my girlfriends smoke too, and I have in the past had a crafty drag or 2 after drinks and I was thinking of telling them I have started smoking full time as I could then retreat to thier houses to smoke, but their fellas would have to be out as we all know each other and it could get back to my hubby so im still debating if it is worth it or not?
My cig of choice is Berkeley menthol 100's, always has been, dont like non-menthol and I think the all white filters are more womanly to smoke. I have visted america a few times and had the pleasure of smoking 120's (Capri and Viginia Slims) which are my all time faves.... But you cant get them in England anywhere, But they are so nice to smoke and very sexy looking and feeling cigarettes!
I have remained consistant in smoking about 15 a day when my hubbys at work and dissapointingly less than 5 when he's off, sometimes none! If I was a smoking all the time I would smoke more as the 15 cigs I smoke are crammed into the 9 hours of his absence so if I were smoking all the time id probably get through about 25-30 a day, which kind of excites me as thought of being a heavy regular smoker fascinates me. Sometimes when sitting in the garden I progressivly puff through an entire pack as I cant smoke later, but I dont always crave this process I think I do it being greedy and because I can as no one is there.
All in all im a happy re-instated closet smoker who is enjoying every puff of every cig at the moment and im not planning on changing this fact.
Amy
--Previous Message--
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:
: --Previous Message--
: Hiya,
:
: My names Amy, 28 years old from England. I
: have always been a closet smoker until I met
: my husband 4 years ago. He never knew I
: smoked and still doesnt.
:
: I secretly smoked through the first 2 years
: of our relationship without him knowing at
: all, then when we married I quit and didnt
: smoke anything at all. I was pleased with
: myself although it was very difficult to
: stop, I was only a moderate smoker smoking
: around 6 a day.
:
: I have resisted strong temptations for 17
: months, until 3 weeks ago when I caved in
: and started again. The weather is fab over
: here in England at the moment and I was
: desparate for a smoke whilst lounging round
: my garden, I went and bought 20 of my old
: regulars Berkeley Menthol 100's, and
: retreated to my garden.
:
: I considered the first one for a good hour
: but the desire was so strong I had to light
: it up. The first inhales were the best ever!
: It felt exactly what my life had been
: missing and the satisfaction was
: irreplaceble....
:
: As I sat in the garden that day I rekindled
: the old smoking joys and progressivley
: puffed my way through the whole pack. My
: hubby works as a chef and doesnt come home
: till late most evenings by which time im
: asleep usually. Hiding my habit isnt that
: difficult.
:
: For the last 3 weeks iv been slipping back
: into my old routine of closet smoking and
: feeling good about myself. I seem to be
: smoking more this time around usually about
: 12-15 a day, but somedays when he's off I
: cant have one- which is torture. Im not
: bothered about smoking more than before as
: im really enjoying it so so much.
:
: I must admit I do feel guilty as well as
: happy as my hubby would flip if he knew I
: smoked. I do wish I could smoke more openly
: and frequently but it really isnt an option,
: my family and hubby know me as non-smoker
: and they really wouldnt take to me lighting
: up every 20 minutes. It looks like I will
: have to stay in the closet on this one, BUT
: one thing is for certain and that is that I
: will not be stopping smoking ever again as I
: have realised that smoking is what my life
: has been missing and I really enjoy it so
: much... the cravings, the smokeyness,
: handling my cigs with care and always
: looking forwards to firing that next one up
: when no one is around.
:
: Any other house wifes experience this
: situation? Anyone evercome out and fired one
: up in front of thier hubby? what was the
: reaction?
:
: Amy
:
: Stories like this fascinate me. If I lived
: in England you could drop over to my patio
: any old time for a cig! Let me know how
: things go with the smokes, his days off,
: etc.
:
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