Posted by Natalie on 6/1/2008, 12:30 am, in reply to "closet smoker wants to come out"
64.234.21.240
Closet smokers always seem to have some support but not enough. In my case, my former husband would not like me to smoke although I was a smoker when we married. I can turn his wife into a smoking slut over booze. My husband knows not what he married. I feel I can't quit and dare not try to escape the closet.
--Previous Message--
: I am a 49 year old married woman with one
: daughter and I have been a closet smoker for
: the past 30 years. Only my husband, my
: daughter, one of my two brothers and a
: trusted cousin are the only family members
: who know my secret. My brother and cousin
: came into the fold when they married smokers
: in whom I was able to confide.
:
: To make my long story short, I first started
: smoking at 19 while in college. I chose to
: become what you may call a light or social
: smoker consuming usually three to five cigs
: per day. I chose this route because
: informing my parents was not an option. So
: through the years I drifted in and out of my
: smoking habit, often going weeks or even
: months without a cigarette.
: But I always started up again.
: Two years ago, after some discussion and
: debate, hubby (who by the way is a
: nonsmoker, but supportive of my smoking) and
: I agreed that I would reveal my self to our
: daughter, who was then 15. As she matured,
: the risk of being "caught in the
: act" was increasing. So when we did
: tell her she seemed rather indifferent about
: the whole thing. This lasted for only a
: couple weeks until one evening she asked me
: for if she could try a cigarette. Now at 17
: she has blossomed into a closet
: smoker--doing her smoking only at home. She
: occasionally talks about coming out.
:
: I have decided I want to come out because
: I'm tired of all the BS and the sneaking
: around.
: I enjoy it too much to quit. My parents are
: no longer an issue. Hubby however is
: ambivalent. He says that the number of cigs
: that I smoke out in the open will increase
: because I will no longer be in the closet
: and have the need for concealment. As a
: result, the financial costs of my habit will
: rise along the risk of smoking-related
: illnesses. Hubby also claims that we will be
: socially pariahtized by our friend virtually
: all nonsmokers. He is also worried that his
: career will suffer--he's in management of a
: growing hi-tech business run by health and
: fitness freaks who abhor smoking and he
: would be the only one with a smoking wife.
: Lastly, he says that if our daughter chooses
: to follow my lead, her social life and
: career opportunities will be very limited
: because nobody at this point in time wants
: anything to do with smokers.
:
: I would appreciate hearing from any other
: former closet smokers who had to deal with
: similar issues, before finalising my
: decision.
:
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