Posted by Kris on 12/30/2008, 11:06 pm, in reply to "Re: Interesting situation"
207.216.1.117
Thanks Norm. I am truly listening to everything people have said.
Of course except for Lurker. It is nice to know that 3 out of 4 people were very nice and helpful to me. Not bad results considering the medium.
Thanks.
--Previous Message--
: I'm inclined to second the advice you got from
: Storm Chaser-- be a man and live with the
: consequences of your choice.
:
: That said, I fully understand that it would
: be very difficult. Twenty-eight years of
: hiding might be a harder habit to break than
: smoking itself. I also know from experience
: that with a fetish, it seems like a vastly
: bigger deal to you than it does to anybody
: else. Even the professionals you've talked
: to don't see why it's such an issue, and
: that will be true of most other people too.
:
: In short, the consequences of coming out are
: not as great as you think. Sure people will
: be surprised, some may even comment, but
: once they recognize that you smoke they
: won't think about it much. I know a couple
: of men at work who turned up smoking years
: after they started there. I never heard a
: single person say a single word about it.
: There may in fact have been some comments at
: first that I never heard, but overall it
: didn't make a ripple. I assumed that these
: guys went back to it long after a quit,
: others may have assumed the same thing. The
: bottom line is that nobody cared. It's your
: life and your choice, and most people will
: let it go at that.
:
: I think you're right about the confidence
: thing too. But if you were to bite the
: bullet and do this thing you fear so
: greatly, I believe that your confidence
: would take a big jump. The fear of other
: people's opinions is a very confining box,
: and I sure don't blame you for wanting to
: bust out of that.
:
: --Previous Message--
: Now this is why I was writing here in the
: first place... I appreciate both of your
: input. SC46 I agree wholheartedly with what
: you said. However it is SO difficult to
: imagine "changing myself" (at
: least in other people's view) overnight with
: the flip of a switch. Believe me, if I
: could have, I would have done it very long
: ago. As for Johnny, as SC46 said, I do not
: want to stay like this forever and hope that
: someday I'll be able to make the leap. Just
: can't imagine how that's all. It isn't just
: my Mom... it is everyone. Don't understand
: why I care so much about what other people
: think of me, and I don't understand people
: who don't care about what people think of
: them. I hate to "make waves" and
: it is much easier in a day to day way to
: have things be the same. However, as I
: said, as time goes on I realize that time is
: going on. I imagine that this smoking issue
: is probably more a symptom of some
: self-confidence issue. To me the smoking is
: the main issue... but when I think about it,
: others smoke... so there must be something
: else huh? Been a long time, and I still
: can't figure it out.
:
:
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