Posted by Scott
on 1/1/2009, 8:02 am, in reply to "Re: Interesting situation"
216.80.38.236
Kris,
As a gay closet smoker, I would like to provide a bit of perspective. I was born gay, and it involves no choice (and no option to choose) on my part; therefore, I expect that to be accepted without judgment.
However, starting smoking is a choice (I have heard people talk about a "smoking gene"; as a trained biologist, I can assure you that it would be more environmental influence than genetic, as there is no selective reason for the genome to favor a tendency to smoke).
Because most of us started smoking AFTER we knew the health consequences, I believe many of us in the closet just don't want to be thought of as stupid.
I hope this provides some insight into why your professional colleague reacted as he did. Happy New Year!
--Previous Message--
: Thanks Daniel! That is a well thought out
: reply that I very much appreciate. I'll
: tell you what really bothered me about the
: professional when I mentioned my issue... I
: was trying to think of how to explain it,
: and I came up with the gay person parallel.
: I explained that I could understand how
: difficult it must be those gay people to
: come "out of the closet" as the
: reasons in my mind are the same. Not gay
: here by the way! Just was trying to put
: some gravity to my issue for him. Well the
: professional literally laughed and said
: "well this obviously isn't the same
: type of thing we are talking about".
: That really bugged me. Now I am a very
: non-judgemental person... but when I think
: about it, it seems "strange" to me
: that a person being gay is more accepted
: than a person being a smoker. Now please
: noone take that the wrong way! I am not
: saying there is anything wrong with people's
: own choices... it just gets to me that some
: people's choices are more accepted than
: others. People believe that it is not a
: choice for people to be gay and generally
: congratulate them for being who they are,
: yet they believe it is a choice to smoke and
: put down people who have made that choice.
: Now that is a whole other subject. I
: honestly don't feel as though it is a
: "choice" for me. Grandparents,
: parents, parents friends, etc all smoked
: when I was young. I grew up in a house and
: car filled with smoke. It is my belief that
: there must have been something in my head or
: my genes that MADE me a smoker. Why else
: would I have always done this alone, had no
: friends (other than the two girlfriends) who
: smoked, and have continually felt so guilty
: about it. Hmm.
:
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