Posted by JayD on 4/26/2009, 8:15 pm, in reply to "Inviting Imput "
70.238.145.161
" I mean, come on, we all know we are total
: f@#king weirdos, right?"
Mick D,
How right you are, and I laughed out loud when I read this! The lengths I go to just to hide my 5-10 cigarettes a week (if that) are laughable, and even more laughable that I don't just give the cigarettes up!
Call me weak or wimpy, but I'm firmly in the closet, and I can honestly say that I would quit before ever being an "out" smoker. My wife wouldn't accept it AND would be furious I had kept a secret from her, and most of my family would be terribly disappointed. I'm an active and respected lay learder at my church, too; although my church is hardly that conservative, many people who look up to me would be very shocked to see me smoking. As for health risks, as I've mentioned before, my mom had lung cancer, so I'm at a higher genetic risk for lung cancer myself. Plus, although I have a good diet, I've never been physically active, and I've been susceptible to colds and allergies since I was a kid.
So, I'm scared of my genetic and lifestyle health risks, and of disappointing people I love and who greatly respect me. And yet, I keep doing it! Why? Well, I've discovered one of the main reasons has to do with the fact I have inattentive ADD. My mind works like a pinball machine, moving from one idea or image to another quickly and spontaneously, never shutting up. Even now that I'm taking Adderall, smoking is the only thing (you'll probably laugh at this: other than praying) that turns the pinball machine in my mind off for at least five minutes. That's a welcome relief, and the nicotine can give me an ability either to concentrate or relax. With ADD, believe me, neither one happens very easily or often! Plus, like most of you say, I JUST ENJOY IT! I think if I weren't closeted, I'd easily be smoking like a chimney or would be going through painful withdrawals if I tried to quit.
So, do I feel like a weirdo for this? You bet, and on this board, it sounds like I'm in some pretty good company!
--Previous Message--
: I am willing to bet many people cruise this
: board regularly, as I do, looking for the
: next tale of madness from someone.
:
: I mean, come on, we all know we are total
: f@#king weirdos, right?
:
: Who else, but a whack job, would hide
: something as common as smoking from EVERYONE
: and spend as much effort doing so, as us
: closet smokers???!!!
:
: I want to see if we can get an idea of how
: many ppl come thru here.
:
: Despite whether you have something juicy to
: say, just chime in...for no reason.
: Come on, how many of us are out here?
: Share a fear, a concern, anything.
:
: Me: I often fear coming up with health
: problems. My wife will divorce me and my
: entire circle of friends would be big-time
: freaked.
:
: But I LOVE to smoke...
:
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