Posted by Dave on 5/14/2009, 10:15 am, in reply to "Can somebody explain"
68.11.149.9
What were the "good reasons" your boyfriend decided to stop? If these reasons were health-related, job-related, or family-related, and other people knew about them, then it seems probable that he doesn't want other people to know simply because he feels it would be harder to defend starting again when everyone "knows" he has "good reasons" to stay quit.
This may seem irrational, but in my experience, even many nonsmokers follow this logic--essentially, that smoking is "bad for you" but they're not going to dial up the nagging unless they perceive a negative impact to be imminent. If that's the case, then your husband was probably willing to be known as a smoker as long as he could blow off negative comments by truthfully saying that he enjoys it and hasn't experienced any real downside. If he can't do that any longer, he may see starting again as indefensible--to himself, to others who know why he quit, or both.
Dave
--Previous Message--
: Hi, before I ask my question please dont think
: that I am criticising or judging people who
: keep their smoking a secret, i am not. My bf
: stopped smoking about 4 months ago ( he had
: good reasons and had only been a light
: smoker ) but a couple of weeks ago he was
: upset and stressed and asked me for a cig.
: The outcome is that he has started again but
: has asked me not to tell anyone. He cant, or
: wont, give me a good reason why he is
: keeping it a secret and I was hoping that
: someone could give me some reasons why they
: keep their smoking secret so that I can
: understand his "problem" or help
: him to come out. Thanks Lynne
:
Message Thread:
« Back to thread