Posted by Dave on 5/14/2009, 11:36 pm, in reply to "Re: closet smoker support "
68.11.149.9
It's sure a lot easier to just decide that quitting isn't gonna happen, that's for sure. When I first realized that I was hooked, I began to feel ambivalent at best about being a smoker. I knew that for me, fulfilling the need to light up was a lot of what made smoking such so enjoyable though, so instead of an inner monologue that said "I wish I could quit" mine said "I wish I'd never found out why so many people love to smoke". Which was even more dumb in a way, because it was not knowing why people smoked that made me try it to begin with.
I made a few serious attempts to quit over the years, and I never lasted longer than a week-and-a-half or so. The nicotine may be gone from my system in a short time, but the memory of how incredibly good it feels to light up and take a long, deep drag when I really feel the need to smoke is not a memory I'm gonna be able to erase. I'd have to be something other than human for that kind of pleasure not to become a need. I'm sure that some would say that it's weak, or a cop-out, but I've pretty much quit trying to quit. I wish I could say that instead, I will keep my smoking to two packs+ a year, but with me it's more like two packs a week (I live alone and my work is fairly solitary, so I've usually gotten away with it). Still, I think my method is basically the same as what you describe--accept that I enjoy smoking too much to quit, and try to keep the nicotine monster happy without going overboard. That's one of the main reasons why, after having come out of the smoking closet at work a while back, I didn't just throw the closet door open all the way and tell everyone; if I became comfortable as a smoker in all of the arenas of my life, I've no doubt at all that I'd quickly become a regular pack-plus-a-day man.
Alright, sorry for the rambling. It's late, and I should be in bed already. But first, I gotta get in that one last cigarette of the day... 
Dave
--Previous Message--
: Dave, you are so right about everything you
: said! That's why I've decided never to quit.
: Quitting would just be me being too cruel to
: myself. Smoking every day is also too cruel,
: so I'm going to cut back to 2 packs a year,
: with a couple of binge weeks per year.
:
: @Paul: A pack a day of Pall Malls!? How
: can anybody keep that hidden? You may as
: well invite everybody to a party and chain
: in front of them. You enjoy it, you do it
: a lot, quitting will be tough, hiding it
: will be tougher. I think you should just
: confess and smoke on.
:
: --Previous Message--
: It's probably true that for a lot of us, our
: addiction runs deeper than this, but just
: skimming the surface: Rare is the person who
: can thoroughly enjoy something and not want
: more of it, at least on occasion. Can you
: imagine deciding never to eat your favorite
: foods ever again? To give up your favorite
: hobby for good? Anything you truly like,
: that brings you satisfaction and pleasure,
: lights up the same pleasure pathways in the
: brain--leading you to seek it out again.
:
: I think that some people who have never been
: smokers assume that at some point something
: just clicks for a beginning smoker and
: wham--they're addicted. But of course that
: doesn't happen--becoming addicted to
: cigarettes is as subtle a process as
: learning to salivate on your way home on
: Friday, in anticipation of the pot roast
: that you're used to having every week on
: that day. That's why when light smokers say
: they're not hooked, the first thing I want
: to as is if they'd be willing and able to
: give it up for good, and never smoke again.
: If the answer is "no", then
: tobacco has already got its claws in them,
: no matter what they might think or how long
: they say they can go without. They just
: don't realize they're addicted yet.
:
: Dave
:
:
: --Previous Message--
: i know what you mean.
:
: i started almost 2 years ago. i have never
: smoked many cigarettes a day but after more
: than one year of smoking i thought that i
: was different because i didn't feel
: addicted.
:
: well, today i can't say the same. i'm
: addicted and i didn't even notice how the
: addiction grew right inside of me.
:
: i'm a closet smoker, don't want to come out
: of the closet to some people (my family) and
: althought i know that i'm almost being
: caught bt them i can't stop smoking.
:
: now i realise that not even smoking many
: cigarettes a day i am very addicted. but i
: don't hate it (as i probably should) despite
: of all the problems that it may cause me.
:
:
:
:
:
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