Posted by crolma on 7/2/2009, 2:51 pm, in reply to "Help! I think I have to come out"
76.241.152.164
I would keep in the closet for a while, so there's more time to think about what you are going to say when you're finally busted, or until you think the moment is right. I'd seriously consider making plans for an alternate living arrangement, just in case it gets seriously ugly. (like them kicking you out).
When the confrontation does come, don't give them any reasons or excuses. Just attitude. They'll never leave you alone if they think you can be reasoned with. It's not disrespectful to be impudent on this issue, because it's none of their business. They are trying to control your personal, private, adult decision. It's too late to undo the adaptations your body has made for tobacco anyway.
You should be respectful on other matters, especially issues like smoking in the house or in their presence. This is important because one day they will probably get over it, and decide it was wrong to go ballistic. You don't want to slow that down by providing legitimate reasons for them to be feel angry with you.
Smoking is really not a big thing. Remember that this impending battle truly isn't your fault.
--Previous Message--
: Google came up with this board, and I've been
: looking for a few weeks because of my own
: predicament. I'm a 19 year old female
: university student in the UK. My parents
: live in a small village about 150 miles
: away, so I only see them vacations now. They
: are very strict, religious, anti smoking,
: alcohol, gambling types. I started at
: university in October last year, and at that
: time I'd never even thought of trying a
: cigarette, and by this new year I still
: hadn't.
:
: For reasons which will have to keep for
: another day, by Easter I'd become a regular
: smoker. I'd got a job for the vac. so I was
: only "at home" for 4 days, and
: decided to quit just before I went. It
: didn't work out, and I lapsed into smoking
: again as soon as I left my parents. I'm not
: a heavy smoker, about 10 per day, but 4 days
: without was hell.
:
: I've got a temp. job again for a few weeks,
: but the plan is I go to stay with my parents
: again late August for six weeks until the
: start of next term. I just don't know what
: to do.
:
: The options seem to be
:
: 1) Quit smoking. That will be a struggle,
: and I don't really want to. I enjoy smoking
: and am comfortable with myself as a smoker
: now.
:
: 2) Come out. A frightening prospect. All
: hell will break loose. They might disown me.
:
: 3) Smoke in the closet. That will be really
: difficult. To start with, sneaking out 7 or
: 8 times a day for an hour, and constantly
: brushing teeth and mouthwashing will be
: strange behaviour. And it's a tiny village,
: everyone knows everyone, so if I'm seen
: smoking, everyone will know, and there's
: only one little shop and the owner knows my
: parents well - so I'd have to take about 400
: cigs with me, smuggle them in and hide them.
: This is probably the least practical option,
: but the others don't seem too good either.
:
: Anyone there been through this and got any
: advice?
:
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