Posted by Sari on 7/4/2009, 12:01 pm, in reply to "Re: Help! I think I have to come out"
89.242.19.161
Hi Mairi, I was in the same predicament as you. Started to smoke in January at uni and have parents who were as strict as yours. I took the decisio to tell them a couple of weeks ago. My mum, who comes from India and is ultra strict, gave me a haed time for a couple of days but has come round. In my case I couldnt bear decieving my parents any longer and if they had foung out by being told by someone else I think it would have been much worse. Think about it carefully Mairi do you really want someone else to tell your parents that you have started to smoke? Sari
--Previous Message--
: Hi Mairi,
:
: I understand that you live in a very small
: town and that people will see you smoke, but
: you don't have to assume that they will run
: right to you parents.
:
: You are 19, a young adult and at a perfectly
: natural age to do something like starting to
: smoke. I think I'd just try to be a closet
: smoker, but try not to sweat it. Someone
: may tell your parents, but more than likely
: the older folks will be surprised yet keep
: it to themselves. I'm sure they seen other
: young adults start smoking, its not as big a
: deal as you feel like it is right now.
:
: It probably won't be a secret forever and it
: might be easier to let them find out
: gradually.
:
: Enjoy
:
: Bob
: --Previous Message--
: Google came up with this board, and I've
: been
: looking for a few weeks because of my own
: predicament. I'm a 19 year old female
: university student in the UK. My parents
: live in a small village about 150 miles
: away, so I only see them vacations now. They
: are very strict, religious, anti smoking,
: alcohol, gambling types. I started at
: university in October last year, and at that
: time I'd never even thought of trying a
: cigarette, and by this new year I still
: hadn't.
:
: For reasons which will have to keep for
: another day, by Easter I'd become a regular
: smoker. I'd got a job for the vac. so I was
: only "at home" for 4 days, and
: decided to quit just before I went. It
: didn't work out, and I lapsed into smoking
: again as soon as I left my parents. I'm not
: a heavy smoker, about 10 per day, but 4 days
: without was hell.
:
: I've got a temp. job again for a few weeks,
: but the plan is I go to stay with my parents
: again late August for six weeks until the
: start of next term. I just don't know what
: to do.
:
: The options seem to be
:
: 1) Quit smoking. That will be a struggle,
: and I don't really want to. I enjoy smoking
: and am comfortable with myself as a smoker
: now.
:
: 2) Come out. A frightening prospect. All
: hell will break loose. They might disown me.
:
: 3) Smoke in the closet. That will be really
: difficult. To start with, sneaking out 7 or
: 8 times a day for an hour, and constantly
: brushing teeth and mouthwashing will be
: strange behaviour. And it's a tiny village,
: everyone knows everyone, so if I'm seen
: smoking, everyone will know, and there's
: only one little shop and the owner knows my
: parents well - so I'd have to take about 400
: cigs with me, smuggle them in and hide them.
: This is probably the least practical option,
: but the others don't seem too good either.
:
: Anyone there been through this and got any
: advice?
:
:
:
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