Posted by JayD on 8/1/2009, 8:30 pm, in reply to "Religion and Smoking"
70.238.139.60
RedsSmoker,
I know what you mean. I'm deeply religious myself. I'm an active lay leader at my church, teach an adult Sunday School class, and am beginning seminary courses this fall. And I smoke. No more than maybe 2 packs a month (if that), but it's a fact. Not even my wife knows this.
I grew up in a conservative evangelical home that firmly prohibited alcohol and at least frowned on smoking. My parents weren't bothered as much by smoking as they were by drinking, but I always sensed they believed a Christian smoker's faith was somehow weaker than that of a non-smoker. I haven't had any trouble discarding the message about drinking that I got growing up (my parents even know I drink), but the one about smoking still lingers, for some reason. It's interesting- sometimes I feel as guilty just about the fact I smoke than I feel about hiding my smoking from my wife! My parents would be horrified if they knew I smoke, not just for moral reasons I should add- my mom never smoked a day in her life but contracted lung cancer a few years ago (miraculously caught in stage 1, and she had a lobe removed- that took care of it), and my saintly grandfather died from emphysema-related complications after over 40 years of heavy smoking. But I think they do tend to view someone's smoking habits as a spiritual weakness. My wife is just a vehement anti-smoker (probably even more so than my parents), but she doesn't make any connection between someone's smoking and their faith. The church I currently attend isn't nearly as conservative as the ones in which I grew up, but even there, I don't think a smoker would be as well-respected as a church leader as a non-smoker would be.
I know this message I internalize about smoking is ridiculous. After all, Jesus did say nothing that goes in us can make us unclean. Plus, our spiritual lives aren't about a need to be perfect according to rules not found anywhere in Scripture but to live according to God's grace- we're all sinners anyway! Moreover, C.S. Lewis and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, to name just two famous Christian heroes, smoked like chimneys. Do know that your fears are hardly unique among those of us who both consider their faith the most important thing in their lives and who enjoy a cigarette. I know EXACTLY where you are.
--Previous Message--
: So here's my story...
:
: I'm nearly 30, and I smoked occasionally
: during college but not as a habit. After a
: particularly stressful day at work three
: years ago, I bought a pack to help me
: unwind.
:
: For about a week, I hid my smoking until my
: wife, an ex-smoker, caught me. A week after
: that, I told her that I was smoking more and
: didn't really intend to stop.
:
: I went out back to smoke, and to my
: surprise, she came outside and said,
: "Well, if you're smoking again, I guess
: I'm smoking again."
:
: We've both been closet smoking since then...
: about half a pack on work days... more on
: weekends and vacation. We only smoke at
: home when we're in town. It's wonderful
: when we're on vacation, and we can both
: smoke openly.
:
: My problem with 'coming out' is, of course,
: the guilt from others who know me as a
: non-smoker. My parents and other family are
: VERY anti-smoking, and they live in the same
: town we live in. Most people have some
: connection to each other here, and if I even
: smoked in my car, I know word would get back
: to others.
:
: But this is the main issue: My parents are
: deeply religious (as am I). They seem to
: connect smoking to faith, and I can't
: imagine their response if they know I smoke.
:
: We've gone to a church where they have a
: smoking area outside, and it's nice to not
: have the pressure on me there. But I don't
: know about acceptance beyond there.
:
: Any thoughts? Anyone ever dealt with this
: particular side of the issue?
:
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