Posted by lg on 8/2/2009, 10:32 pm
65.100.145.84
I've always had a certain curiosity about the whole concept of addiction. I always see smokers when it's been a few hours since they've had a smoke: normally calm people get jittery and nervous, they can't focus and start dropping things, and jumbling sentences. To normal people that may seem negative, but I've always been facinated by these side effects and wanted to experience them for myself.
When I started smoking I was lucky to get in 1 cigarette a day, if that, usually only 5 in a week, not nearly enough to get hooked. Recently though I've become less "in the closet" and started smoking about half a pack a day, usually more.
I've always been able to make it for days at a time without physically wanting or needing a cigarette, I've always had a psychological addiction, but that's easy to ignore when it needs to be ignored. Today, I only had two cigarettes left in a pack when I left for work, and no time to make a 7-11 run. I was a little bummed, but not really upset about it, I figured I would be fine, after all, a month or two ago, two cigarettes in one day would've been a treat. Instead, I experienced my very first, full-blown, physical craving for a cigarette.
It was intense beyond my wildest imaginings of what a cigarette craving would be like. Plus, when I got off work and rushed to the nearest convenience store, that first cigarette (in 5 hours) was so much more amazing than any I've ever had.
To conclude a long story, I am officially addicted, and kind of excited to see what it's going to be like, in a sort of warped, slightly twisted way. I'd love to hear anyone else's experiences with addiction and cravings. The good, the bad, and/or the ugly...
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