Posted by Scott on 10/16/2009, 1:01 pm, in reply to "Tricky situation, how to escape?"
170.20.11.116
Mick, you are going through the exact same thing I am. For a long time, I've had a raging smoking fetish. I find attractive women who smoke are extremely sexy.
My wife was a closet smoker for the first 12 years of our marriage. She never smoked a lot, but always would when we'd go out, and sometimes outside our house on the weekends. I'd smoke with her, but that was the extent of it. Well, now she stopped smoking, and since then, I've started smoking a lot more.
I kiddingly blame her for stopping, even though I wish I could. I'm only smoking 4-7 cigarettes a day, but that's still a lot more than the one a day I used to smoke. She knows I smoke, but she thinks it's only the one a day.
One difference is I now find myself loving everything about smoking, and I look forward to every chance to do it. I really love the taste and even the smell. I can definitely empathize with you.
--Previous Message--
: So here is my conundrum folks: I have a HUGE
: smoking fetish. One that is actually an all
: out obsession really.
:
: I think about smoking practically all the
: time (I am sure many of you can relate, am I
: right?) - I mean, I watch videos on the net
: of women smoking, view pictures incessantly,
: and the more I indulge this fetish, the
: stronger it is... you know?
:
: ...AND, I am at a point in my life where I
: would love to quit smoking - I think about
: that all the time to! ARGH!
:
: The more I succumb to me obsession of
: deriving sexual pleasure in this respect,
: the more it makes me want to smoke. The more
: I smoke, the stronger the hold smoking has
: on me. This is both psychological and
: physical and I am f#*king losing it!!!
: I mean, for me cigarettes aren't just
: cigarettes, they are a source of intense
: pleasure.
: I love to smoke in almost every sense of the
: word "love" --- I love it.
:
: So the problem is this endless loop I am
: caught in.
:
: Due to the fact that I am a hardcore closet
: smoker NO ONE knows I smoke. Not even my
: wife of five years.[Please don't say:
: "Oh come on, you are fooling yourself,
: she has to know." She does not. Trust
: me on that one.
:
: I have to quit, as for the amount of years
: I have been smoking (I am in my middle 40's)
: the chances are I will develop health
: consequences - to say the least - if I
: continue on this path. And if you stop and
: think of the ramifications, especially
: socially, (especially long-time friends who
: have NEVER known me as a smoker, --- in my
: 40's! --- you might realize how one's life
: as they know it could implode from this.
:
: What do I do?
:
: I don't expect any of you to have the
: "answer", but at the same time, I
: can't just talk to a friend, you know?
:
: If anyone here could even shed some insight,
: or help me with some kind of advice, I would
: be very grateful!
:
: Thanks,
: Mick d
:
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