Posted by JayD on 8/1/2011, 7:51 pm, in reply to "How should I handle this?"
70.238.154.59
Perhaps are there one or two with whom you're closer friends around whom you could smoke, and they could agree to keep your secret? I'm fortnuate in that my assistant at work smokes, and he's literally the ONLY person who knows about my smoking (spouse included). When we go out for lunch, I'll smoke with him sometimes. Some afternoons, I'll tell him I'm "stepping out for 10-15 minutes," which he knows really translates into "I'm going to one of my secret hiding places around the block to smoke, because this has been a really stressful day and my head's about to explode!"
When the two of us went to a conference out of town last year, I went out with him for smoke breaks and lit up like it was a regular thing for me. I'd never want to make it a regular thing, and I'm not stupid enough to smoke openly outside my office building. However, it's also refreshing to have someone who knows and around whom I can light up on some days when I really need one and want some smoking company, too.
One thing that makes me a little shy about smoking around others- even when the other smokers are strangers- is that I know I look like an amateur, almost like a 13-year old sneaking a parent's cigarettes. Other times, I just don't care, but I'm usually feeling a little self-conscious about that.
--Previous Message--
: I recently started hanging out with a
: different circle of friends. And it seems
: like somewhere around 50-60% of them smoke.
: Honestly, it drives me crazy when they do.
: Especially if I actually see them smoking. I
: just really want to join them, at least
: sometimes (I don't think I could smoke
: nearly as heavily as some of them do). But
: I'm just kind of embarassed to. Worse yet,
: I'm worried that, if I DO smoke around them,
: word might get out to other people I know.
: And finally, I worry that, if I smoke with
: them, maybe I might become compelled to
: smoke more than I am comfortable with.
: However, it would REALLY be nice to have
: some people with whom I could share an
: occasional cigarette. What do you think
: would be the best way to go about dealing
: with this situation?
:
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