Posted by Dave on 12/29/2011, 8:24 pm, in reply to "Re: To be in the closet or not to be in the closet"
70.177.58.173
I think you'd be very pleasantly surprised. You may or may not know some specifically anti-smoking people, but the vast, vast majority of people could not possibly care less if someone smokes or not. Consequently, in most situations there isn't any crap to deal with.
Before I came out, 99.99% of the "crap" was in my own head; driven by an inferiority complex, I used my public image as a nonsmoker as a sort of defense mechanism. It was part of an assortment of artificial and irrational trump cards I could play if I found myself feeling vulnerable. Even in situations with other smokers, I stuck to my goody-two-shoes image, because without that, I subconsciously believed I'd be revealed as inferior in every way.
Because it destroyed this façade and forced me to face my real worries (which had nothing to do with hearing negative comments about smoking) coming out was actually one of the healthiest, sanest decisions I've ever made.
You'd likely also be surprised at just how easy it is. As Tim B. often says, it's like ripping a bandage off, in that thinking about it is the worst part by far, and once you do it it's over with before you know it. If you truly enjoy smoking, that will carry you all the rest of the way. After years of closet smoking, I settled into lighting up regularly during the work day in no time; no one said more than "I didn't know you smoked", and that was that. Easy. Ridiculously so, after all the torture I'd put myself through for no good reason.
These days, I'm a courteous smoker, but I am also an utterly unapologetic one. If someone came up and accosted me for smoking (which has never happened by the way) I wouldn't think twice about pointing out that they are being rude and intrusive. I am an adult, and if I want to smoke it is truly my business and mine only, as long as I obey the law and follow the rules of private property owners.
If you plan to continue to smoke and want to come out of the closet, I strongly encourage you to make up your mind and make a plan to do so. I can't tell you how glad you'll be that you did once it's all over with, and you can light up and relax and enjoy without all the preparation and paranoia and track-covering. It's freeing in ways that I'll wager you can't yet comprehend, and very much worth the effort!
--Previous Message--
: I would really like to come out of the smoking
: closet. Been in there for way too long.
: Problem is I don't want to deal with the
: crap from people.
:
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