Re: Robbie is doing awesome!
Posted by Dave on 3/30/2012, 8:30 pm, in reply to "Robbie is doing awesome!"
Glad you're doing so well!! Perception is 90% of it all usually, and you seem to be doing well indeed in that department. |
: Since my post on Tuesday, I've done well. I've
: managed to maintain my smoking levels such
: that the nicotine addiction is really taking
: hold. I know that with each passing day I
: can sense my addiction becoming a stronger
: force in my life, and if feels great!
: Met my new therapist today and I like him.
: In our hour long session, he showed
: understanding and empathy. One thing he
: disouraged me from doing was to try and
: suddenly abstain, as he thought it could
: trigger some major anxiety issues. For this
: reason, I will be continuing my smoking
: practices until at least April 10, when we
: meet again.
: I really don't think I will be able to keep
: from being exposed as a smoker with my kids
: if I go another ten days like this. The
: urge to indulge is SO INCREDIBLY
: OVERWHELMING that I suspect I will reveal
: myself before april 10. If that happens, I
: will deal with it-- as I am convinced it is
: an inevitability given what I am determined
: to do over the next 12 days.
: My nasal drainage is doing well. My ENT doc
: suggested a more powerful musinex, and it
: seems to be making my nasal drip very
: manageable. Even though I am inhaling
: massive amounts of smoke, my throat is not
: causing much discomfort at all. This means
: my smoking is all the more invogorating and
: enjoyable. The urge I have to smoke after
: about an hour without nicotine is absolutely
: overwhelming. I do not see how I can go
: until April 10 without giving in to the urge
: to say "to hell with it -- I am a
: smoker, accept me as I am!
: While I have not really had to deal with my
: "coming out" yet, I feel virtually
: certain that my truly intense and massive
: building addiction will ultimately set me
: My desire to smoke after a week of intense
: efforts to smoke as often and intensely as I
: can is making my eventual acceptance of my
: smoking urges a part of my everyday
: existence, and I feel myself actually
: anticipating it happening. It is so
: empowering that I can't describe it