Posted by robbie on 4/10/2012, 8:35 pm
75.167.99.115
It was helpful. No easy answers. Suggested I see myself through a lense other than a "feitsih" --- that I was more normal than I have always thought.
Idea is that we all end up as sexual beings based upon our experience at critical stages of our development. That we project sexual meaning through our fantasies and experiences.
Basically, I may have projected my sexual thoughts on female friends of my parents, and when I was unable to realize my desire to be with a smoking girl as I grew up, I ended up finding sexual arousal in my own smoking as a substitute for my desire to be with a smoker.
Since my self-image was of a non-smoker, I could not realisticall¥ be with a smoking girl, and so I ended up substituting my own smoking for the smoking of a woman.
Thus, I ended up as a fetisher with a desire to smoke myself.
Next appointment is in a month. Not sure what I will do, but for now, I will smoke as I have been.... indulge my smoking habit, and see if I eventually moderate to stay stable.
Good night.
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