I've been a closet smoker for 9 years. There have been months and once a year (spring 2006-spring 2007) without smoking at all. Nobody of my family knows this secret and they can't ever know. My wife hates smoking more than anything.
I have different smoking clothes which are in hide and I smoke when I get a chance. I've always started over again and then stopped it.
Now it's third smoking day in row. I smoke 2-6 cigarettes in a day. I smoke always menthols. I had been without smoking about a month and then I smoked 12 day in a row. This is now third time this year when I started smoking. The smoking days lasts always a week to two.
I always stop because I got enough of hiding my smoking. But then I start again. I'd like to know in what level is my addiction, because I can stop smoking for awhile, but can't be without it very long.
Part of me wants to be a regular smoker and part of me wants to stop it permanent. I do like smoking and I always smoke deep breaths. I love to dizzy feeling, but I don't always get it. Is there a better way to get the feeling everytime? Are menthols strong enough? I like much more menthols taste.
Any tips, what should I d? Does anyone have similar situation?
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