Prayer: When sorrows come...

When sorrows come...

Posted by Redd on 9/6/2008, 9:04 pm
70.233.100.93

they come not single spies,
But in battalions.

The old wolfess slowly padded into the grounds designated for prayers and visiting the dead. It had been so long since she came to these lands, but she knew exactly where to go. She could never forget where her first litters of children lay. Redd had put them there herself, with the help of whatever dragon had been alive at the time.

She set on her haunches in front of the places, her eyes closing as she seemed to be nuzzling some person that couldn't be seen. It was saddening. Redd could hardly recall what her children looked like. The clearest was Tannin, his bright eyes full of mischief, a laugh that was such like his father's. Whenever Enishi came to mind, all she saw was a silver coat and a body crumpled on the ground. And Tomoe, Redd couldn't even remember whether her daughter had white spots or brown.

Before their death, she didn't think that anything in the world could go wrong. Redd had the love of her life and they had such beautiful pups together. When Toric ran, she didn't think she could live. Her perfect family was destroyed, almost everything that she loved was gone. But then a small collie pup asked her what she was doing teetering on the edge of the mountain.

It was Lestat that saved her life. She loved that collie. He was her son, her brother, a part of the family that she stayed up late at night worrying about. She showed him some of the saddness that she hid from Toric in an attempt to open himself up before he turned up like her--a small part of her heart permanently numb from the depression that followed her.

And look what happened. Lestat did nothing but help destroy the happiness that she struggled so hard to bring back to herself. He knew where to hurt her: her children, her mate. Because she had told him all of this over the years.

Now Toric wants to bring him back to life... The wolfess lay on the ground, rubbing her muzzle against the grass that had grown over her children's graves, tears rolling from her fur to the green blades. She couldn't lose anymore. She was so worried that if Lestat came back, he wouldn't be that pup that she loved so much, but the monster that he grew up to be. And she just couldn't get Toric to understand this. She couldn't get the collie that she shared a bond with to know that to know that Lestat was dead hurt her, but it would hurt her so much more to know that he was alive and had the chance to scar her heart more than it already was...

What scared her more than Lestat back in the flesh though, was what if Toric used his one Life Blessing on his brother. What if the creature that brought her so many emotions chose his dead brother over her. That would the last thing her heart could take, she wouldn't be able to live anymore.

The wolfess lay there, struggling with her sobs and whines that she had never let Toric see scared that he would leave in a way that a Life Blessing wouldn't bring him back to her.