I have lots of thoughts going around in my head after reading your post. For me, I am learning how to live with this overwhelming saddness and loss and even when I am having good moments, it is right there threatening to brake through. So, since this is a time of big change for you, I guess you are vulnerable. It's brakes through!!! Yesterday, I was having a good day. My husband and I were watching a movie when all of a sudden the theme is the death of a son. I had to leave the room because I was hit with saddness and anger that my being can be upsided without warning. But tthis is how it is for me and I can't fight it. I do know now that not all my time is spent in saddness and pain and that when I feel lighter I enjoy it for what it is. Kathy, I know that you KNOW. Yet we need reassurance that we love our children and did the best that we could and still bad things happened. We are powerless over so much but we are loved too and we are not alone, not ever. Thank goodness for telephones and tis PrayerWave. I feel good to know that I am understood here because we all have times when we feel strong and times when we need reassurance. Kathy, wasn't it recently that Jon gave you a huge ADC by coming through you IPad? It's never enough but that was a big one! I'm glad you posted because it helps me to know I am not alone, Alicia
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