The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"
Two things on my mind this week
Posted by Delta on 9/2/2025, 4:35 pm
A friend was listening to a podcast because she thought that a motivational speaker might help her overcome her lack of motivation when it comes to certain parts of her life. She found a part that was very exciting to her and couldn't wait to share it with me. I thought it was a grand idea that would work in many areas of life, even weight loss. The guy says to forget goals. Gradually create a system for each thing you want to do. Make small changes to the system until it works for you. Consistently focus on the system and positive changes will come.
This makes sense. I built systems when I worked. I tried to buy basic pieces of wardrobe in certain colors that would work together with each other then buy coordinating pops of color. I hung my clothes with pants together, skirts together, blouses together so I could find thing quickly in the morning. I would turn the dishwasher on every night after dinner and every morning while my coffee was brewing I would quickly put the dishes away so that we were ready to fill it with our dishes all day to keep them out of the sink. I had a system for showering, drying/styling my hair, putting on makeup, dressing so that I could get to work quickly. I bought a clothes sorter years ago because I HATED (still do, still use one) sorting through smelly, dirty clothes. I could throw one section in the washer every morning and turn it on in less than 3 minutes. I could throw them in the dryer as soon as I got home and have time to change and transition from my workday before I needed to fold or hang them, which took only 5 minutes or so out of my day as opposed to taking a whole day to do all the laundry and leaving it laying everywhere making me feel awful if someone dropped by (which was big here I learned when we moved her). I learned to sort the mail when it came in so that all the bills were in one place divided by what week in the month they had to be paid so that it only took minutes to sit down and do the actual paying. I would prep tomorrow night's chicken after dinner tonight so that I only had to put it into the oven the next night. I always had a salad and some rice or pasta in my refrigerator that I had prepared ahead while cooking something else so that I had quick meals. I know how to put systems in place. I think I could do this with food.
The other thing was podcast that I listened to from a very successful weight loss coach. She was talking about binge eating and over-snacking and telling people to set up times that they can eat each meal and one snack per day and get in the habit of eating only during those times. Have a list of snacks and only eat ONE thing off the list, no deviation.
It really resonated with me because for a few nights I have wished that my husband would just go to bed so I can have ________ (it's always something different). Luckily, he has gone to bed so late each night that the craving has passed, or I have just given up, but it bothers me that after years of not having these thoughts or sneaking around to eat, thinking they were gone for good, they are back. I hope that I can nip them in the bud.
It hit me that it sounds as if she is doing the same thing: building a system and tweaking it until it works, which can become a habit that would get rid of some of the crazy juggling acts and other things I do with food?
What if there was a grocery list that had only healthy items on it and I could check off the ones I wanted to buy this week and not even look at the other things that are there?
What if every meal was planned around 2 vegetable portions, one lean protein portion, one lower glycemic carb, and one fat portion? Every time.
What if all snack choices were on a list and I buy only enough for one serving per day?
What if none of the things that I crave are in the house, but I could plan and have one portion occasionally?
I can see both rigidity and freedom in those ideas, but most of all, I can see how it could become a habit and take my mind off food. I find that cravings only come when I think of food.
I remember reading a story once about an author who only eats steak and eggs for every meal when he is writing. I can't say that I think much of the nutritional value of his diet, but he reasons that he likes steak and eggs enough to have them every meal and not get sick of them. His biggest reason was that when he eats the same thing every day, he doesn't end up thinking about it. It becomes rote, something he just stops and partakes, then goes back to work. He said that when exposed to a varied menu, it often caused writing slowdowns or blocks because, out of the blue, he would wonder what was for lunch or dinner today, and it would cause him to get sidetracked and go down a rabbit hole and lose his train of thought. He had a system, as many authors do, a system that worked because he could do it without thinking, so that it became a habit in the background, not something vying for attention. Oh, for food to be in the background only.
So, I think I am going to devise a food system that works for me that can hopefully help me build better food habits, be more nutritious, and hopefully lose some weight. I acknowledge that when certain emotions build up that I have turned to food for years I can't expcet to not still do that unless I first build a system for taking better care of my emotional needs as they happen so that they don't build so and to also have other systems to deal with those things that does not involve food and that will take some thinking and work because I have never ventured into that area of my life before.
Any thoughts and ideas from you ladies will be most welcome.
I can relate to the author who ate only steak and eggs when he was writing, so he would not get sidetracked thinking about food. I know I've said this before, so it's a repeat, but I have about ten meals in the freezer/refrigerator at all times that I have already figured out the calorie count. On non-treat days, I list all the possibilities for my husband and ask him what he wants that evening. On Treat Days, I'm off the board, of course, but that's part of my "system," too.
Just yesterday, I read an article suggesting successful weight loss and maintenance begins with consistency. Have meals planned and ready to take away the guess work, the "thinking" about what you're going to eat.
I used to have a card file that had a recipe on the front, a grocery list, and suggestions for side dishes on the back. I knew most of the recipes, but the kids didn't, and they sometimes helped with meals, so it worked well for us. I would pull out 6 cards every week and take them to the store, and buy the groceries on the back of the cards. They were left in a small napkin holder on the counter, and each night I would pull one, and that is what we would have. After dinner, the card went to the back of the file box. I need to dig those out and put the calorie count on the back of them. It was stupid to stop using it, but after retiring, I thought I had plenty of time and didn't need i.t. Thinking of all the systems that I had in place while working to save time and effort, I realize now that I should have kept them all in place after I stopped working. I need to revisit them. Thanks for reminding me!
and I think this will also be very helpful for me with the surgery. Post-op there is a precise "schedule" to follow. It's all laid out - day 1-3, day 3-12, and so on. The choices are so limited in the first couple of weeks but I can still mix and match things up and make it more interesting. e.g. chicken broth one day, beef broth the next. I like the idea of mapping out the next month (pre and post op) and I'm lucky to have a plan there for me to follow. I like systems too (being a system analyst in my career) so I understand and appreciate what you have shared!
You reminded me of a niece who had a sleeve surgery. She had a system to follow before surgery, and several phases after. She went whole hog and made a blog of the whole thing. She consulted with a dietitian who specialized in people with sleeve surgery, did dry brushing, and exercises that the hospital suggested after recovery. After she was able to eat again, she only stuck to the foods in the sizes that the dietitian had suggested. Sounds like she built a system from it. She said that she never wanted to eat "on her own" again because even with the sleeve, she would be able to gain the weight back. Several years later, she is still very small and says that food no longer calls to her.
Her uncle had the surgery about a year before her, lost well over 200 pounds, then started gaining again. He had nothing in place and just depended on the sleeve to control his eating, but like dieting, he found ways to cheat the system. He has gained most of the weight back.
I hope that you have a system in place that you can tweak to fit you and never gain your weight back.
And you make a lot of valid points. We all have to find the system that works for us. If we don’t have food in the house that we shouldn’t eat-we won’t eat it. I stopped buying rice cakes and low carb fudge bars-not because they didn’t fit into my food plan-they did-but because I couldn’t control how many I ate or needed the processed carbs. If they aren’t in the house-I can’t eat them. I also quit buying saltine crackers for the same reason. I used to buy them so Ken would have them when I made chili. But I ate more of those crackers than he ever did and I would top them with butter before I ate them. So out of the house they went.
I have to say that getting the processed carbs out of my system helps me not think about food as much which I am grateful for.
already working on a system. Good for you! I really hope that things start going better for you now.
I agree that a lower glycemic carbs and holding them to 2-3 starches a day helps with the food noise.
I can have saltine crackers that will go stale around here, except during the colder months if we have a lot of soup and chili, and I learned a long time ago that 5 was my limit, and I pretty well stick to that because they don't call me. I can't have Club crackers because I could eat a whole sleeve or more if I eat smoked oysters or cottage cheese. I can eat them just as well without crackers or use a few saltines if they are not here. Just won't control them.
I think I can safely say that all of us have been in this long enough that we have all built up workarounds, like if I eat this now, I can just eat one meal tomorrow, and it will all be okay. Of course, we don't, and it is not. But we continue to do it. If we worked on systems of habits instead
podcast was about a book called Atomic Habits or something like that. I don't know who did the podcast, but she had bought the audio of the book to listen to the whole thing; she was so excited about the podcast.
The podcast I was listening to was from a lady who has a class every so often. She calls herself Coach Mama Fox, and if you follow her on Facebook, just before her next class (most are several hundred dollars plus monthly coaching fees), she will put out short podcasts and snippets to entice people into her next class. I have found a few of her things have insight, but I haven't plunked down the money.