The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"
Paula….
Posted by Cindy on 6/3/2026, 8:28 pm
Thinking of you this evening. I know how hard this day was for you.
Love you.
Good Morning
Posted by Paula on 6/4/2026, 10:12 am, in reply to "Paula…."
House feels kind of empty this morning. Co went to daycare, cats isolated in my bedroom and Lewis is gone. Just me and crazy Tony.
It all went as well as these things go. I took Cosette with us after reading that dogs understand death and seeing it keeps them from looking forntheir friend who is gone. I was on the floor up against Lew most of the time after he got the first shot. Co would walk over to my head and sort of nuzzle us both. She gets very upset when I cry. Lew took awhile to surrender to the first injection. We just hung out until he fell asleep. When the Vet (my former client) came in with with the final shot, Co growled a little. I held Lew up against me for a few minutes after he was gone. Co didn't get too close then.
I asked the vet to carry Lew out before we left. When we had our first dog, Henry, put to sleep, I was on the floor with him but we had to leave before they took him. It's a picture I'll never forget. Bill and me walking away from our dead dog still laying there. Never again. When they gathered Lew up to take him, Co came over and sniffed him. After he was out of the room, she whimpered a bit. She was such a comfort to me. We were all over each other and concern for her wellbeing helped me with my own.
The house was silent for the rest of the day . Cosette just settled in, curled up in a chair or on the sofa. She didn't want to play with Tony so he was very quiet, too. I eventually took Co in to visit the cats who she hasn't spent any time with since Tony came. Blake immediately came nose to nose with her and mowed and Co whimpered. Think she's telling him what happened?
I haven't taken up any of Lew's stuff yet except for the outside ramp. I keep thinking I see hom out of my the corner of my eye.
One of my neighbors came and brought me flowers last night. A neighbor I don't know well, walked Joanne over and Cosette went psycho. She knows and loves Joanne but was crazy at this tiny Vietnamese lady. I think she was just too upset from the day. I texted my neighbors behind me the night before we took Lew. I've been good friends with them. They never got back to me and it's crushed me. I know they got the text. I've seen them in the yard. I think they may think I rushed Lew's passing because I got Tony. That is far from the truth. I would have hung in there with Lew as long as he didn't show me it was all too hard for him to go on. They have had lots of dogs so they know what I'm going through. I hope I'm wrong because this will be hard for me to forgive.
I had emailed Toby Town that I was going to.cut Cosette back to 1x week. I told them I needed yo save some money and was cutting my cable off.and my cleaning lady down to 1x month instead of every 2 weeks. She responded by saying how sad they were that they wouldn't be seeing her 2x week and asked if there was anything they could do. I responded to their email with gratitude and mentioned that it was going to be a rough day for Co and me because we were saying goodbye to Lew. When we got back from the vet, there was an email back from Gloria (director/owner of TT) saying I had won the summer raffle and I had won 2- 20 day packages of daycare. There hadn't been any raffle. They just gifted Conthe days. That's $1000 worth of daycare! It was a stunning gift and act of kindness. She usually goes on Fridays but I think she really needed to go today. They will love her up.
Lewis is ever, all around us. I can't imagine picking up his beds and won't until I'm ready.
Thanks for being with me always.
How special…
Posted by Cindy on 6/4/2026, 7:57 pm, in reply to "Good Morning "
That Toby town did that for you (and Co!) - very special people indeed.
Such a hard day. We have all been thinking of you on here. Such a hard thing to go through-but I believe that Henry and Katie and Charlie were all there waiting for Lew to greet him! And that Lew is filling them in on Co and Tony and the cats and everything else that has been going on. One day Paula (hopefully a long time from now) they will all greet you as well. I honestly believe we see our fur babies in heaven. Hang on to that thought.
Love you.
And, Walter, Charlotte Rose and all the kitties!
Posted by Paula on 6/4/2026, 8:37 pm, in reply to "How special…"
I hope there is a heaven and we will see each other again. Co went to TT today and came home and played with Tony. She's moving along. I still can't let myself think about Lew very much because I dissolve. Little at a time.