The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"
Where I'm at
Posted by Paula on 6/10/2026, 12:48 pm
I feel exhausted physically and emotionally. Losing Lewis has been awful. Tony....OMG!He is so cute and loving. He is mostly housebroken and, unless it has to do with the cats, he pretty much listens. Does not go willingly into his crate at night but, once he's in it, he settles right down.
I'm confused as who I said what to so I may repeat. He got Blake the other day. Didn't hurt him though there was fur flying. Blake was terrified but came out to me in the living room after Tony was in his crate. I sobbed when I saw the terror in his eyes when Tony knocked him down. I actually called the rescue, crying, saying that as hard as it was to do, we needed to return him tto be adopted by a family without cats. They said I need to give it more time and that they didn't have room fir him. Now that I'm typing this, I think I remember Cindyh's reply. Sorry.
Training Saturday. I bought a 'shock' collar on the advice of a couple friends who.said it knocks the behavior out quickly and then you never have to use it again. Just to see what happened,I set it on a very, very low level(like what I might feel with a very low TENS setting. He was sleeping and flew up when I turned it on. Made me sick inside. If it came to stopping him from attacking the cats, I'm pretty sure I could use it.
He is so happy here. I doubt he's ever lived inside with a family, soft beds, plenty of food. I will go to the weekly training at PetSmart. Bill has agreed to go but he won't take it seriously. I also am tempted to use the collar because effective training is going to take a long while a d I'm not sure the cats and I can wait. Yesterday, one of them peed outside both boxes (bedroom, office). It happens occasionally but not as completely as yesterday. Behavioral? UTI from the stress? One more thing to figure out.
I'm just an impulsive dumb s#$t. WHY did I just have to get another dog?? Especially one so sweet and cute.
Long story short, I am having trouble holding it together even at work. I'm so stressed that it's hard for me to focus. I have a bunch of new clients so.I can't take time off. Besides, I need the money. So, if I'm around less than usual, it's me me trying to rest and get myself together.
Take care
I'm also exhausted from more hours at work.
((( Paula )))
Posted by Krista on 6/11/2026, 8:29 am, in reply to "Where I'm at "
I agree with the others - you have a HUGE HEART. Do what's best for your whole crew - the kitties, doggies and yourself. Listen to that giant heart of yours
(((Paula)))
Posted by Joan on 6/11/2026, 6:43 am, in reply to "Where I'm at "
Oh my, gosh! Paula, Paula, Paula... I wish I could reach right through this screen and hug you, hug you tight and long. You have so much going on right now. I'm so sorry, sweet friend!
Paula
Posted by Cindyh on 6/11/2026, 3:26 am, in reply to "Where I'm at "
I just wish I could give you a big old hug. And maybe cry with you. Sometimes that is just what we need. Let it all out. I’m surprised he can get to the cats. Max “tries” to growl and get close to Andy and Felicia’s 3 cats and they sat him away or run away fast depending on which cat it is.
Get plenty of rest and let your nerves calm. I know mine would need it.
Paula…
Posted by Cindy on 6/11/2026, 12:11 am, in reply to "Where I'm at "
You’ve had so much on your plate. I think the way you are feeling is perfectly normal considering all you have going on. I think Tony and the cats will figure it out. They just need more time. I agree that the shock collar should help a lot and it isn’t a strong current like Delta said it is just surprising him. You have a huge heart and did a good thing bringing Tony home.
Try to get some rest and give yourself some grace. You are doing fine. Love you sweet friend.
((Paula))
Posted by Delta on 6/10/2026, 7:19 pm, in reply to "Where I'm at "
It sounds like you are really struggling. I wish it weren't all coming at you at once, but that is the way it often happens in life. Just keep telling yourself, "This too will pass." It helps to realize that you HAVE made it through all the other stressful times in your life, and then there was Paris. Every time. You well know what grief looks like and that all the stages just have to be gone through. Not comfortable, not fun, but necessary. When you are off, give yourself extra rest and care. Do something special for yourself. You deserve it.
As far as being a dumb s#$t, you are far from it. You have a loving heart, and you saw a dog in need, so you gave him a loving home. You are to be commended. You are just not in a good place to deal with a new dog's transition right now, so it is making it harder on you than it normally would be. New is always hard. Exhaustion and grief put it on a different level of hard. It is not your fault nor his.
I understand your feelings about a shock collar. I felt the same way until I was educated. A mild shock does not hurt the dog; it startles it. Think about when we first got pagers or phones that vibrated when we had the sound off. We would jump out of our skins. It didn't hurt us, it just startled us. Same with a shock collar. Believe me, I get shocked frequently from my defib, and I don't even notice it now. It was always the startle factor. A sharp no and a gentle jolt should teach him not to bark at the cats, then you can teach him that you love them as well as him by letting him see you pet them, then him. It can work.
Funny story: My cat and dog have always loved each other from the first, but my mom's dog caused my cat to climb the screens up to the overhead beams of the Four Seasons room with his insane barking and charging on the first day he was at my house. It took all of three seconds and was over by the time I figured out what happened. Even when he saw a cat or squirrel out the window, he would bark and carry on like something crazy. A neighbor's cat had kittens in Mama's shed. The dog couldn't get to them, but he went crazy when he saw them. When he went outside, the rest scattered quickly until he went back in, but one of them started coming just outside his run and would stand and stare while he barked. It seemed to get satisfaction out of driving him crazy. It kept doing that until he just stopped barking and stared at it. He would run outside barking and scattering the other cats but when they were gone he would smell the tiny ball of white just outside his reach. One day it came through near him and rubbed on him. He crumpled. Needless to say, that cat stayed when they came to get the rest to re-home after they were weaned. Now they are the best of friends and play and lie together. It CAN happen.
Spoke to my heart.
Posted by Paula on 6/10/2026, 11:25 pm, in reply to "((Paula))"
Thank you, Delta. I feel like such a whiner at times but,it's me.
whiner. Just a friend sharing strugles with friends who are there for you. I read the other day that every woman should have at least one friend that they can share any struggle with. We are that for each other.
Paula
Posted by Beverly on 6/10/2026, 5:29 pm, in reply to "Where I'm at "
I'd be stressed too. Your plate of life is very, very full. You sound like you are struggling. Hugs, sweetie. and a squeeze.
You got another dog because of your heart.
I am sorry that Tony is so aggressive with the cats. Does he go to Daycare with Co. I hope the shock therapy works.
I am so sorry it's so hard and you are so weary. love you.
Love you.
Love you, too.
Posted by Paula on 6/10/2026, 11:26 pm, in reply to "Paula"