The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"
Just need to share my frustration
Posted by Delta on 6/11/2026, 4:42 pm
I was taking the dog out today when I heard someone pull into the driveway and heard my ring go off. I pulled out my phone and saw a contractor van delivering a FedEx package. We were expecting a package today, but it irritated me that they were pulling that heavy, oversized van into my driveway because the PSI of concrete on driveways is generally not heavy enough to withstand that heavy weight. I was about to close my phone when I saw him pick up a package and take it with him.
I called my husband and asked if he had a package going out, because he hadn't told me before he left to go to the office. He told me that our daughter gave him his father's day gift yesterday because she didn't know if we would be going back to the lake this week or not. He had put it on the side porch this morning and was going to call me to take it in, but forgot. He wasn't worried because our side door is blocked from sight from the road by shrubs, and you have to come up our long driveway all the way to the side door to even see it. The neighbor was out mowing his yard so he would have perked up if strange cars came snooping around, but he probably didn't even question a delivery truck pulling up, and the truck was between him and the side door, blocking his view of what the driver was doing.
He called FedEx to report it and finally got through to a person who said he couldn't do anything about it. He called the chief of police, who told him to come file a report and download our video of the guy taking it, but there is not much that he can do about it.
Does this not just take the cake? Legit drivers stealing from houses as they deliver right on camera, and they don't care because nothing can be done about it. If it were something we had ordered, the insurance would have covered it, and we could get another one, but this wasn't something we ordered, and the driver who delivered it to her made a picture of it being delivered to the correct house so there is nothing she can do.
understand that this falls on my husband for putting the box on the side porch, but it is a long litany of dumb things he has done lately since they put him on a new med and changed several of his other meds after the stent. After I finally convinced the doctor to change the med that was making him shriek and shout all the time like a two-year-old having a meltdown, he was acting more like himself. He felt familiar again.
Now he is doing such stupid things as forgetting to turn the water off and walking away, putting things that don't go in the refrigerator in the refrigerator, or leaving the door open and walking away, even taking what he was cooking out of a pan and leaving the empty pan on the burner that was still on. I am in a constant state of adrenal and cortisol overload. I even discovered that instead of filing everything after paying bills the other day, he put everything in the trash, along with a cashier's check for the down payment of his new shop building. That was enough to allow someone to steal his identity as well as put a big dent in our bank account if someone cashed the check. I am glad I found it when gathering trash.
I am just in a state of high levels of cortisol and adrenaline being dumped into my system all the time lately. I can't sleep, my digestive system is crashing and burning, and there are no answers. The doctors just say, " Well, he has to be on the meds for life. They won't even consider testing him for dementia because he can carry on intelligent conversations with them when he is there.
I was hoping that our daughter wouldn't find out what happened right now because they just started her on a new seizure medication, and it has her in a state of emotional fragility. She is almost like a pregnant or postpartum woman. Everything is just MORE right now. What does he do? Calls her to try to take care of reporting it for him because he doesn't have time to deal with it. Not me. HER. Shesh! When she called me so upset, I was just crushed for her. He is almost impossible to shop for, and she did so well this year. He was pleased with it, and she was tickled. He had shown up at her house just after it was delivered, so she just let him open the box instead of waiting to wrap it or waiting for Father's Day, because he didn't know if he was going back to the other house before then or not. It was still in the FedEx box it came in. Who in their right mind puts presents on the porch and just leaves?
I have no idea where to turn from here, and I am not asking for you to solve the problem. I just needed to whine for a minute. Thanks for being here to whine at, even though you don't have to read my whin posts it helps to at least say it. Sorry, I'll try not to make a habit of it.
Delta...
Posted by Beverly on 6/13/2026, 7:31 am, in reply to "Yes, I totally"
I am sorry you are going thru so much right now. How frustrating about the stolen package. You followed up with no satisfying results.
I would speak with your doctor about your husband's change in behavior. Changing meds could be helpful
Hugs to you dear friend.
Believe me, I have talked to the doc
Posted by Delta on 6/13/2026, 4:53 pm, in reply to "Delta..."
about suspecting meds. He keeps telling me that he has changed all that he can change because he is working with so many medications. There are the diabetes meds, the heart meds, the allergy meds, the meds to keep his lung pressure from changing after he had to have lung surgery. I keep asking if he has to be on everything for life, and I get told that they believe so.
Well dang, Delta!
Posted by Joan on 6/12/2026, 6:52 am, in reply to "Yes, I totally"
You are being asked to hold it together for two people every hour of every day! No one can do that for very long! I don't know the answer, but start bugging the doctor!
(((Delta)))
Joan, believe me, I do
Posted by Delta on 6/13/2026, 4:57 pm, in reply to "Well dang, Delta!"
bug the doc. He has a good one that he doesn't like patients being on a lot of medications long term if he can get them off, but he won't change something that another doctor has put him on if they had a good reason. He will talk with that doctor and try to come up with a good alternative, but so many of the doctors have bought into BIG Pharma solving everything, so sometimes that doesn't go far. He is the go-between for about 5 specialists. The system used to work better, and more doctors used to take personal history and reactions more seriously.
I am sorry…
Posted by Cindy on 6/12/2026, 1:34 am, in reply to "Yes, I totally"
This happened with that present! I’d be frustrated as well!! Vent away Delta! We are here for you!
I’m sorry your husband is experiencing all these changes. I hope the dr can figure out how to help him. Changes like that are scary.
(((((HUGS)))))
We are here to listen and lean on
Posted by Krista on 6/11/2026, 9:42 pm, in reply to "Yes, I totally"
This too shall pass at some point, in some fashion, but sometimes it is hard to keep it all inside and keep quiet without stuffing it down with food. Thanks for being my sounding board so that the food don't win.