Thank you for your reply. Since you went through it, you seem to understand my ambivalent feelings. Even though I miss Maggie May so much, I felt I needed to get another dog because I had been so lonely and the house was so empty. It has been six months since this horrible tragedy occurred. My precious Maggie May died of congestive heart failure on April 25, 2013. It was the second worst day of my life. The only day that was worse for me was when my mom died of cancer on September 25, 2001. Coincidentally enough, both wouldn't die without me there. Back in 2001, my mom died laying on a hospital bed as I was holding her hand. Maggie May died this past April as I was holding her in my arms at the veteraniarian's office. Anyway, even though this new puppy seems very sweet and loving, I still constantly think about how much I miss Maggie May. Six months isn't a long time so I'm obviously still grieving. It may take awhile before my new puppy is accepted into my heart (not because of her, but because of how much I miss Maggie May).
My mother's memory has been my inspiration. In the past 12 years since my mom has been gone. I've always asked myself "Would my mom approve of what I'm doing. Is this what she would want for me." There is no doubt in my mind that my mom would've wanted me to get another dog. In fact, if my mom were alive today, she would've bought me another dog herself. So, I have no guilty feelings in regards to my mom. My mom loved me too much and never wanted me to be lonely. But what about how Maggie May would feel. After my mom died 12 years ago, Maggie May and I had this incredible bond together. Wouldn't Maggie May feel that another dog was taking her place in a house that was her home and feel hurt? Wouldn't Maggie May feel hurt that another dog was taking her place in my heart? I am afraid that as I bond with Mandy that my memories of my special relationship with Maggie May will fade. I don't want to ever forget her or what we had together. She meant too much to me as my mom did. Those are where my guilty feelings come from and I'm having a hard time dealing with them along with my continued grief to the loss of Maggie May. It's a struggle for me.
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