I am praying for you that you receive the peace that your heart needs so you will finally understand that your mother is doing great (she is OK because she can only give you those signs if she is in Heaven); that you can let go of all guilt (because God is the giver and taker of life and He was calling her Home, so the decision was not yours).
Suzanne, I hope you receive the reassurances you need in a dream visit from your mother. So please pray for that.
Also, by going to a reputable medium to get to "talk" to your mom, would be something to consider and pray about. I would suggest my dear mission partner Sunni Welles http://www.sunniwelles.com if you are looking for a highly gifted God and Christ-centered medium.
May God bless you and may He replace all of your doubts with His joy.
Lovingly,
In Christ's Love,
Chris - Founder
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