The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"
Friday gratitudes…
Posted by Cindy on 4/5/2024, 8:58 am
Please share!
mine
Posted by Beverly on 4/5/2024, 12:29 pm, in reply to "Friday gratitudes…"
- last week I saw my ophthalmologist. This was in regards to the neuro - magraine event I had last summer. The eye part being zig zags, streeky lines and crossed eyes. Doctor that that my neuro-eye contection is fine!!! Yay.
Had fun at Murray's sister's house at Easter. My neice, erika, made a bunny butt cake. It was funny to see!!!!
I am done with my shoulder PT. Now it's doing these things at home. I MUST do them to get better and better.
Took Maxie to see the new Ghost Buster movie. It's so different. Ghosts trying to freeze the world. It had a fun switch at the end. We had fun.
You lovely, wonderful ladies. I love you all. I love knowing that even if I don't post alot all the time... that you care about and love me too.
Great posts
Posted by ~Gee~ on 4/5/2024, 5:09 pm, in reply to "mine"
Glad to read your eye seems to be resolved. And your formal PT for your shoulder is completed, hope it feel better.
Glad you had a good Easter. Wonder if Lilith would like that movie 🎬? Glad you had a good time.
Started as grats but turned into a long story of where I am at. Sad.
Feeling a little better. Haven't talked about this a lot but Carin is married to a guy she met when she worked at the prison. He is sentenced to 35 years for allegedly having oral sex with one of his students. She is convinced that he didn't do it and hired a $200,000 attorney to do a 'habeas corpus' to prove that he was not represented appropriately by his attorney. She's on the line for $90,000. When the attorney laid it all out, it really does look.like he was misrepresented. They are waiting for the final verdict. Anyway, for the past 2 years, he has been absolutely horrible to her. They say they have a Christian marriage and has has spent his time telling her what a whore,c#$t she is every time she doesn't adhere to his demands. She has been so caught up in wanting to be a 'good Christian wife' that she has put up with him ordering her to do this or that with her kids (mind you, he is still in prison!), breaking into all her accounts and, though she has argued with him that isn't a Christian marriage (he never seemed to get that husband's are supposed to love their wife as 'Christ loved the church'), she stayed in the relationship. Sometime, last year, she let me know ow what was going on and I was enraged and just wanted her out of it. Because of her own emotional wounds, she was an easy victim. Hours and hours and hours of conversations and texts trying to help her break free of this, for months. She finally said she was ready to divorce him but didn't have the money for the retainer. I loaned it to her and she is paying me back each month. Even after that, she would get reeled back in. He would apologize or find a way to convince her that she is not being faithful to her vows to God and back she'd go.
Finally about 6 weeks ago, she cut him completely off and told me it was final. I was so relieved. It has killed me to know how he was treating her and how that impacted the kids. For instance, he would insist that she be on.the phone with him 5 hours each night (he has an illegal phone and they would talk and FaceTime) even though it meant she was ignoring the kids. I can't tell you how much effort I put into helping get a better sense of who she is, how much God loves her (yes, me telling her that), how she's been forgiven for the many mistakes she has made, that she doesn't have to prove that she's worthy of love (she was the black sheep with my sister...how my sister has treated her is a whole other story!). She would 'get' it but, then, fall right back unto the horrible thoughts about who she is. He would take advantage of that.
Anyway, she was finally free....and then, she wasn't. He 'repented' and now she is 'honoring her vows.' She didn't tell me until I asked. The answers she gave were revisionist history.with her being at fault for a lot of what went wrong and the statement that she knows I don't endorse the concept of Christian marriage (which is not true as long as he is loving her as Christ loved the church!) If the judge overturns the sentence, he will be released in a few weeks and the pig will come to live with her and the boys.
I wanted to, literally, vomit. Sickened is the best way to describe it. I should have cried and cried but, instead, ate and ate for 2 days and drank too much. Yesterday, I was having really low bblood pressure (98/62) and an increased heart rate along with shortness of breath which are the symptoms that led to having a stent placed. I felt like I was going to explode! I will monitor thus to see if it is all stress-related or indicative of another heart problem.
I told her I have to separate myself from all of this. I told her my heart is broken and I'm scared because she is my only family and I was counting on her to be there for me when I got old. The plan has always been that I would have a place with her. Now I have no one and not much money to tide me over when I am older (not destitute by any means). She said I was refusing to see any good in him and that she has to be faithful. I just have to detach. It's only been a couple of days but she has been my go-to person, the one I want to tell little things that happen in a day especially when it comes to Cosette.
A couple things could happen. He could show his ass again or miracle of miracles, he could have changed. Don't think I'll ever trust him and his behavior with his students was awful. Whether or not he did oral.sex or not, he was fired for inappropriate texts to students and telling one girl that she should come over to swim at his house because his wife and kids were out of town. She didn't go but Carin has found a way to minimize and explain this all away. I won't forget it. He's awful.
So I am incredibly, incredibly sad and scared for her and the kids but I have to let go. There's nothing else I can say to her.
Not proof reading this and realize it shouldn't be under 'gratitudes' but once I got started, I couldn't stop.
I am so sorry that Carin is in such a predicament. I know it must weigh heavily on your mind and heart. Hopefully she will see that he hasn’t changed and will break away from this hold he obviously has on her. Sending you (((((Hugs)))))
I am sorry for you, sorry for Karin, sorry for the kids. Heart-breaking for sure. We are here for you. I'm speechless as well and I know how much you love her. So much on your shoulders and on hers.