Finally about 6 weeks ago, she cut him completely off and told me it was final. I was so relieved. It has killed me to know how he was treating her and how that impacted the kids. For instance, he would insist that she be on.the phone with him 5 hours each night (he has an illegal phone and they would talk and FaceTime) even though it meant she was ignoring the kids. I can't tell you how much effort I put into helping get a better sense of who she is, how much God loves her (yes, me telling her that), how she's been forgiven for the many mistakes she has made, that she doesn't have to prove that she's worthy of love (she was the black sheep with my sister...how my sister has treated her is a whole other story!). She would 'get' it but, then, fall right back unto the horrible thoughts about who she is. He would take advantage of that.
Anyway, she was finally free....and then, she wasn't. He 'repented' and now she is 'honoring her vows.' She didn't tell me until I asked. The answers she gave were revisionist history.with her being at fault for a lot of what went wrong and the statement that she knows I don't endorse the concept of Christian marriage (which is not true as long as he is loving her as Christ loved the church!) If the judge overturns the sentence, he will be released in a few weeks and the pig will come to live with her and the boys.
I wanted to, literally, vomit. Sickened is the best way to describe it. I should have cried and cried but, instead, ate and ate for 2 days and drank too much. Yesterday, I was having really low bblood pressure (98/62) and an increased heart rate along with shortness of breath which are the symptoms that led to having a stent placed. I felt like I was going to explode! I will monitor thus to see if it is all stress-related or indicative of another heart problem.
I told her I have to separate myself from all of this. I told her my heart is broken and I'm scared because she is my only family and I was counting on her to be there for me when I got old. The plan has always been that I would have a place with her. Now I have no one and not much money to tide me over when I am older (not destitute by any means). She said I was refusing to see any good in him and that she has to be faithful. I just have to detach. It's only been a couple of days but she has been my go-to person, the one I want to tell little things that happen in a day especially when it comes to Cosette.
A couple things could happen. He could show his ass again or miracle of miracles, he could have changed. Don't think I'll ever trust him and his behavior with his students was awful. Whether or not he did oral.sex or not, he was fired for inappropriate texts to students and telling one girl that she should come over to swim at his house because his wife and kids were out of town. She didn't go but Carin has found a way to minimize and explain this all away. I won't forget it. He's awful.
So I am incredibly, incredibly sad and scared for her and the kids but I have to let go. There's nothing else I can say to her.
Not proof reading this and realize it shouldn't be under 'gratitudes' but once I got started, I couldn't stop.
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