Farrah's brain bleed stopped. I still don't get what it's taken over 24 hours to get a neurosurgeon in. They were at the beach in SC. Laura was in the beach and Matt and Farrah were driving around in the golf cart. Laura heard the sirens from where she was on the beach. Soon after officers approached her and told her it was her daughter. Cannot even imagine. I try to pray but am not very good at it but I am grateful I know 6 wonderful ladies who are!

Dreams are just dreams. Exhausting ones last night. Woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all.

Someone dear to me sent me an email asking for help with a project she is working on. The project is also dear to me (being non-transparent because if I tried to explain, it would take forever). I knew I didn't have the emotional bandwidth or intellectual/academic energy to be of help. I didn’t know how I was going to convey all of that to her. After texting back and forth with Carin last night, I scrolled through my emails and realized I hadn't replied to Leigh and knew it was time. In one sitting and on my phone, I wrote my reply and it was a very good one. I think she will understand my decision.

Cindy and Ken are safe

I hurt a little bit more today. I think it reflects how emotional distress exacerbates physical problems. Also, I sat way too much yesterday.

Kind of a funny. Yesterday was the hardest day I've had with food since I started. I started the day upset because there was blood on the bathroom floor from my back. The surgeon's office never responded to my outreach messages which was so disappointing. I just felt like crap all the way around and, with news of Farrah, it surely didn't get any better! So, back to the food. Nothing tasted good and I wanted sweets like crazy but k ew if I had them, I would feel 10x worse. Anyway, I made it through but felt some disappointment because I went over my calorie budget. I had to laugh because, on reflection, my calorie budget was 1309 and I ate 1382! This from the woman who are whole cakes and bags of Lindor truffles on a regular basis! I'm killing this Carin says I'm a 'beast' when I put my mind to something!