Been down that road and I can tell you it is all doom and gloom from your standpoint. Between the pain, weakness from the infection and the medications your brain IS mush and can't see daylight.

I know that it is easier said than done but try to relax some and just breathe. Try to put all your thoughts into positive things like getting better and things that you love. The more positive you are the faster you can heal, it is a scientific fact. You can think about and solve your other problems once you get back on your feet.

Remember that your pain was much better after your surgery until you got the infection. You will be there again. It likely will be an arduous journey there but you can do it and Paris will be glorious.