Of course, you are struggling. It is understandable. You have had so many major shocks/knocks in the last several weeks that it would be difficult for anyone.
They always tell us not to make major decisions during this time, but now, at your most vulnerable, and when your mind is the fuzziest, you have a whole list of things to make decisions about. It's not fair. You have a great helper in Mike; lean on him.

Try to put most of your energy into taking care of yourself and getting your Crohn's flare settled down. That is going to be extra hard while you are under all this emotional upheaval. Concentrating on what you know helps.

As far as all the other, don't worry about a timeline for most of it. As long as you have talked with Social Security about being able to get Murray's Social Security unless you made more than he did, and you decide on insurance by Dec. 7th (it's great that you have someone knowledgeable to help there), don't worry about rushing the rest.

Take care of yourself and know we are here. I wish I could come help you go around and do all this stuff.