am still feeling very unsettled about it. I never got past shock to even get angry. I probably was just standing there with my mouth open. It was mostly shock then, but now I keep asking myself how I could have helped her? I feel like I let her down by leaving, but it was probably for the best that I did. My soul feels very weary over it.

Your words help a lot. Your mentioning where you are having lunch helped a lot, too.