The easiest way to avoid regrets is to ask yourself this question, "If not now, when?" It's a powerful way to put life and our decisions about how we spend our time into perspective"

I want some advice from you ladies Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 12:26 am I have been having trouble with fluid in my ears. It makes them ring, roar, or pop and then hurt intensely. The otolaryngologist told me to chew gum when that happens. He said it helps drain some of the fluid. We were in a floor covering store getting floor covering and shower tile. A lady helped us with the shower tile and was a wealth of information and very nice. She got called to the front, and another guy helped us with the flooring. It took a long time. Music was booming over the loudspeaker, and they cut in constantly and extremely loudly, paging people, and the store was very cold. Between the loudness and my teeth chattering, my ears were beginning to hurt. I put a stick of gum in my mouth to keep my teeth from chattering and hopefully stop the noises and pain in my ears. The lady at the only cash register that was open was the nice lady who had helped us with the shower tile. When we walked up I put my gum in the trash can behind us. She just went off about grown people who chew gum. It kinda shocked me, but then she just went off on me. I mean went off and it just kept going. Loudly. She went on about how rude it was, and only low-life people would chew gum... When she paused for a breath, I apologized. She then apologized and told us that her dad wouldn't let them chew gum and would take a leather belt to them if he ever caught them, and she just couldn't stand people chewing gum. Said that she had made a mistake and had to start all over because my having gum upset her so much. She started another tirade. I apologized again and went to the car. When my husband came out almost 30 minutes later, he said she totally messed up the ticket 4 more times, screaming that it was my fault because every time I dared to chew gum around her. The manager finally had to come over, check him out, and send her home to calm down. Other than not chewing gum in public ever again, even on a doctor's orders, what would you have done in this situation? It left me in a bit of shock and feeling very dirty. Since it was Memphis, I kept watching her hands because I didn't know if she was going to pull a gun on us or even come around (over) the counter at me. It was like meeting Jeckle and Hyde in person. She went from being so sweet to us to completely unhinged, not because I was chewing loudly in front of her or anything; I got rid of it as I walked up to the counter. She was just irate that I had it and was not going to shut up about it. It is still bothering me. I don't know if I could have handled it better or done something different to stem it. I hate to think of the poor lady so upset, but I also am still a bit in shock over how she acted. I guess perhaps I set off some PTSD but how do you handle that? Just one more reason that I go out less and less these days here.

Thank you ladies for your Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:41 pm, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" kind words. They helped to settle me. It was such an unsettling feeling, and I somehow feel that I failed her, though I have no idea how I could have gotten her help. I think that her dad badly abused her from one sentence she dropped, and likely was very damaged, not just someone who felt offended, as is becoming prevalent today.

This lady was rude and Posted by Beverly on 4/21/2026, 11:17 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" Out of any ordinary realm of professional behavior. I would have told her briefly that the doctor has instructed me to chew gum because of ear concerns. She was rude and out of line. I can see how shocked, stunned and feeling ambushed you felt.

I dd try to tell her Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:31 pm, in reply to "This lady was rude and " she just talked over me. The weird thing is that she was never really yelling at me, and there were no customers or other employees around to hear. It was a huge warehouse showroom, and we had been there for hours, and they were close to closing time. She was just spilling word vomit. My husband said after I walked out that she just kinda went to pieces inside and couldn't do anything. It was very unsettling.

I think you handled it fine Posted by Paula on 4/21/2026, 9:11 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" As you were describing what was happening, I could feel my Sicilian blood starting to boil. I probably would have gone off on her, with the hard stare that only a past teacher of 5th graders could pull off. I could silence all of them with a look at an assembly. Except as an adult dealing with another adult, my mouth would have gone off in an attempt to turn the tables on her. Let her look like an ass. BUT, what would that have accomplished? Still, I'm afraid that is what Inwould do if someone was trying to shame me in public. You took the high road and that is not easy to do. There is nothing wrong with chewing gum FGS! Let the Mal-occhio deal with her! I am eating lunch at the Palais Royale. Sort of wonderful to be able to connect from anywhere! I think it's what keeps me from being lonely. It is beautiful here. Can't believe I've not been here before!

Paula….how did I not know you were …. Posted by Cindy on 4/21/2026, 5:42 pm, in reply to "I think you handled it fine" A 5th grade teacher? Did I read that correctly???

Yep. My undergrad was in elementary education Posted by Paula on 4/21/2026, 6:12 pm, in reply to "Paula….how did I not know you were …." I taught a split class of 5th and 6th graders for 4 years. I started my own therapy a couple years into it and fell in love with the idea of helping people that way. Teaching was the most exhausting job I've ever had.

Even today I Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:24 pm, in reply to "I think you handled it fine" am still feeling very unsettled about it. I never got past shock to even get angry. I probably was just standing there with my mouth open. It was mostly shock then, but now I keep asking myself how I could have helped her? I feel like I let her down by leaving, but it was probably for the best that I did. My soul feels very weary over it. Your words help a lot. Your mentioning where you are having lunch helped a lot, too.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Posted by Paula on 4/21/2026, 6:16 pm, in reply to "Even today I " Of course the therapist in me is wondering what is triggering the feelings of shame and the belief it's your job to help someone who is being abusive to you but...... She was triggered and so were you. It was a lose/lose situation. Hugs

I would report it to the manager of the store Posted by Krista on 4/21/2026, 8:56 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" I am blown away by this. I would have left without my purchase as well.

Oh, I did Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:26 pm, in reply to "I would report it to the manager of the store" leave without my purchases but after spending several hours there getting everything sorted, my husband did not feel that way.

From my perspective... Posted by Joan on 4/21/2026, 7:08 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" I also chew gum in public because of my xerostomia. It can't be helped. It is what it is. Deal with it. No one has ever reacted to me the way the sales lady reacted to you, but I have no problem telling people why I chew gum even if they don't ask. Sometimes, I start the conversation just so it's open for discussion. People have always said they don't care... whatever... they chew gum, too. The lady was completely nutso, in my opinion. If I were you, I would follow up with a complaint to the management! She was clearly out of line! When I come to visit you, I'll be the one chewing gum... just saying.

Just gotta say Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 5:33 pm, in reply to "From my perspective..." WHEN you come visit, I may drive you crazy with the gum chewing because I have some caps from an accident breaking some teeth, and after a short time, the gum starts sticking to them and making a smacking noise. I try to get rid of it when that happens, but it may happen to some extent before it becomes annoying to me. If she had been close to me when I was chewing, I could have understood, but I started chewing it after she left, and as I was walking away from the guy after he and my husband started writing up the ticket, well over an hour later. The store was clearing out as it got later, so there was no one around me at all.

Rethinking my less than charitable response... Posted by Joan on 4/21/2026, 10:36 am, in reply to "From my perspective..." There's no way for you to know this, of course, but I'm wondering if the sales lady might be diabetic and was having low/high blood sugar issues. When you write your follow-up email, I might include that I now regret not calling 911 because it now seems the sales lady might have been having a medical emergency.

It might be possible but Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:18 pm, in reply to "Rethinking my less than charitable response..." my husband, 2 of his brothers, his aunt, and my brother are diabetic. I worked with several diabetics over the years. My daughter has been hypoglycemic since she was a child. I usually recognize low blood sugar. This lady was totally different. I have never been up against anything like it. One minute sweet and the next like fireworks going off, not because I was doing something that was bothering her, but because she SAW me dispose of it so she had evidence. It was total fury, and I became scared at one point. At one point, I tried to tell her that my doctor had prescribed it, but she kept on berating me as if I hadn't opened my mouth. Not shouting and acting unreasonable, just telling me what a low-life I am for doing that. After she said what she did about her father not allowing them to chew gum and taking a belt to her, I figured that she might have PTSD. By that time, I had had all I could handle and walked out. My husband, being him, was not about to let all that work finding everything to walk out, and I am not going to lie, that kinda felt like a betrayal. I am just not one who handles confrontation well; I never have. I just wondered if I could have handled this better because I still feel awful for setting it off, still a bit in shock over it. You ladies, seem to be able to act with grace under fire. I was just at a loss. I didn't even have enough time for the shock to wear off to get angry or self-righteous or anything else. I think I just stood there a few seconds in shock, then just turned and left. Until that moment, she seemed to be an excellent employee, so sweet, knowledgeable, and helpful. Then Ka-boom. I guess she needed professional help. I want her to get help, but I don't think it is something I can do.

Get her help? Posted by Krista on 4/22/2026, 11:24 am, in reply to "It might be possible but" You don't even know the woman. Don't give her another thought. If she wanted help, she'd get some. This is not worth your time, Delta.

Delta Posted by Cindyh on 4/21/2026, 6:33 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" This was NOT your problem. It was clearly yours. There is nothing wrong with chewing gum. I would have left the store when she said that. Sorry but as I’ve gotten older that’s how I am now. It would have hurt my feelings but that’s how I stand up for myself without offending someone or I would have told her how she made me feel. It’s NOT OK what she did.

I don't think that Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:35 pm, in reply to "Delta" my feelings being hurt have cycled around yet. Well, it did kinda hurt my feelings when my husband didn't follow me out of the store, but I just feel so unsettled, as if I missed an opportunity of some kind to help her, but I have no idea what that would have looked like.

You did nothing wrong…. Posted by Cindy on 4/21/2026, 12:35 am, in reply to "I want some advice from you ladies" That woman clearly had some issues and that’s not your fault. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. That would have been unsettling to me too. She was very unprofessional and the manager should have apologized to you for her behavior and even given you a discount! There is nothing wrong with you chewing gum in public. I love chewing gum but it caused my jaw to hurt and my dentist told me to stop and I did that same day. Try not to dwell on this too much. You did nothing wrong.

Yeah, I get that Posted by Delta on 4/21/2026, 3:32 pm, in reply to "You did nothing wrong…." she had issues. BIG issues it seems. I feel that I wasn't very gracious or didn't handle it well.

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