So sorry for your pain. I lost my son 2 years ago last month and I can relate to what you are feeling. Although I don't cry every day any more, I still cry fairly often and the pain is always there, just below the surface. I have tears in my eyes just typing this and I definitely know what you mean when you say you "crave" your son. When I think that I will not see him again until it's "my time" and that I have to go through the rest of my earthly journey without him, I feel so depressed and helpless. The heartache is indescribable and it is all just exhausting. I have went to two different counselors, one a few months after he died and one just recently - but I go to them a few times and just feel like, although I get to talk about my son and how I am feeling, that it just isn't helping me, so I stop going. I attend a support group and that does help me, but nothing is going to change the fact that I don't have my son any more. What I'm trying to do is to look at it as my "cross to bear" in my journey here and I have to live with the pain, but it is difficult road. So anyway, I don't think you are "stuck" - I think it's just how it is for mothers who have lost a child.
I will pray for you and all who are suffering.
Sue
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